People say they know for a fact how we feel, but that's not true. That's a complete expression, used sometimes just to try to comfort other person, and sometimes things like that end up causing more pain. The only reality is that,  We can only feel empathy and try to relate from our own life experiences and knowledge to try to help.

You can't expect that a person's going to get in your life and make everything perfect, because as a matter of fact, you can't actually trust that somebody's going to be there for you and satisfy your own ideals of perfection, friendship, companionship, etc, and turn your world all of a sudden, your own personal ferry tale.

We are all imperfect, and that's something you need to realize before keep going with this. You can't blame other person for your own hell, because that hell is your own problem, as sad as this seems, that's how the world goes. We're at the end here just to satisfy our own necessities (with some expectations of course), we're alone, and even if we find somebody else to stop feeling hopeless and alone, at some point that person, that we naively made our world, is going to let us down.  

Life is not simple, in fact life is the most complicated abstracted art that has ever been created, and no one is never going to understand life, because life is more than you and me, and life grows bigger everyday... Life is a variable without a solution.  

If you want your life to be one of those movie story's with a perfect ending, I'm going to put it simple, Reality has no mercy on you, It doesn't matter if you're rich, poor, whatever... You're going to suffer and have pain in your life, and all of those experiences are going to make you understand (Hopefully) that you need that contrast to appreciate the good times we get to have and be happy for having them.  

It's up to you if you want to keep living in the dark, full of darkness and tears, or make this trip worth while. Make your own destiny, and keep holding on even if you fall every time. Find something that makes you, and only you, smile, joyful, happy, and stick with it. Art, Music, Maths... Whatever, All it matters is that that thing, makes you feel better.

Take a look at what's ahead of you and breath in, You have the whole world waiting for you to make a move, you just need to make a really big effort towards improving.

Please, realize that you have a problem and that maybe, you can find solutions to fix it. Having an emotional instability isn't the worst thing in the world, and in fact they're really common. Find a counselor, psychiatrist...And start walking towards the things you want in your life. Life is what you make it, so come on, Start doing it.

Post edited at 1:21 am on April 28, 2008 by iJeannie

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I went flying outta my window, been caught doin it once
or twice... but it feels so real nice. Saw the earth, and I
saw the sky and I've been flying ever since
and I've been flying in the sky

Simply put... sometimes people in real life do something to betray our trust... and it hurts, and it makes you start distrusting everyone.  Everything seems against you, and while you don't realize it, I'm sure everyone around you would prefer to see you happy than suffering like you are.

Reality is really harsh to some people... and simply put... some people will never be able to understand.  But they try... they try to understand and help out, regardless, in hopes that maybe something will make you feel just a bit better.

Depression and emotions.. they don't go away overnight, and it honestly takes time.  The pain from certain events may never go away, but we can't let that stop us from moving forward.  It may make us stuck for a bit, but eventually, we need to find a reason to keep moving forward.  It may seem horrible right now, but with time, you'll find days that make life worth living... but to achieve that, you just have to keep pressing and trying your best.

No one's perfect, no one's always happy... we just have to try our best.  I'm sorry about how the people around you are, and since I don't know any of them or any of the things they have done, I can't really say much.  I'm sure some of them are trying to help, but honestly don't know how.. others may not realize that you would like help...

Try and smile, try and move forward.  Yes, I know, seems impossible... easier said than done, right?  But eventually, taking those steps forward gets easier... the farther we get from the past, the easier it becomes to deal with.

I honestly wish I could help you out, and I'll continue trying to do so.  If you ever feel like PMing me (or I'm sure many other SLs would be more than willing), then do so.  Even if it's about something completely unrelated... sometimes a small distraction can make a world of difference.

And I'm sure you may have been told this, and I'm not sure if you have done so... but you could also consider trying to seek a professionals help.  They might be able to help you out with what you're going through, and at least ease some of this pain that you feel.  Stay strong, alright?