I have to be good looking enough for her. I mean everynight I go out, more girls are coming on to me. And from the moment she saw me she couldnt leave me alone.

Two of her friends talk to me, even though I never worked with them. They smile and ask how I am. And if theyre not serving me in the shop theyre looking over at me, and theyre 22 too.

However theres Catherine's other friend that I never managed to hit it off with. And I think she advised Catherine not to have anything to do with me at the start....she sees me as 4 years younger.

Its been 10 months since Catherine and I talked last. 10 months is a long time, but theres still something there, I know it. I mean why else when I oped the bar door and shes standing the otherside with a group of friendds and I stop dead and shes looking at me, and we're holding eye contact for a long time.

Why is her and that bitchy friend watching me when i was pissed in a nightclub talking to two guys I knew and trying to fing out who wants to fight me?

Why, when Catherine is dancing with a friend and theyre holding hands and swinging them and they hit me, does catherine stand with her hands beside her sides looking at me?

10 months is a long time, and things get forgotten quickly. But theres still this. If she didnt care she wouldnt be holding eye contact, she wouldnt be bothered if I get hit when shes dancing. Id just be some guy she used to know.

Why are her friends paying attention to me, trying to get to know me?

She has to still care.

-------
Wouldn't it be cool if 19 million other muthafu*kas grew
up to be just like me?

This is what happens when bad meets evil

You do have to remember that Catherine is an independent person, entirely separate from any of her groups of friends, whether those groups like you or not. Just because they want to get you doesn't mean that she wants to resume things. Just because she doesn't like you doesn't mean that Catherine does.

I have to say that you have progressed, in the fact that you aren't getting completely wasted every time you go out, and making a fool of yourself. But I'm going to go a step further, because obviously I've been keeping my eye on how things are going and I'm going to say you haven't changed enough. You aren't trying to move on- and before you argue that you have and you are, don't bother. You haven't. And Catherine is consuming every bit of free energy you seem to have. You can't even seem to go out and enjoy yourself because you are completely fixated on her and her reactions to you. That's bordering on unhealthy.

We're animals. We aren't made so that there is only one person for us. Quite simply, she isn't the only fish in the sea. It wouldn't be a cliché if it weren't true.

-------
'Love is, like, really important. It's good to be loved.
Even if it's only for one night.'

It wasnt till a week later after things turned sour, when I turned up in the shop high, after a music festival. I smoked more than 20 blunts in 3 days and drank lots, i cant say how much, I know i drank a 2 litre bottle of cider in 15 mins, but cans of beer? over 50 in the 3 days. I got mugged and needed to ring home, I was high on weed, to an extent lack of sleep - I only got 4.5 hours sleep in the 3 days, and lack of food, I eat one pizza in the 3 days. I was fucked, my eyes were blood shot and I couldnt walk in a straight line and focus on anything, but I needed my mum's mobile number which boss in the shop had, so i could ring home, cos i was mugged at the festival and had my phone stolen.

I remember catherine being there, and I ignored her, I cant remember everything, but I remember hearing her and the bitchy friend laughing at how wrecked I was.

-------
Wouldn't it be cool if 19 million other muthafu*kas grew
up to be just like me?

This is what happens when bad meets evil

---

The reason catherine liked me in the first place, all though she never saw me wasted or high or any shit, was, i think, cos i was a fast talker, I never mentioned drink or drugs or any shit, and when the question of alcohol did come up before and going out, she laughed and said "I bet you go mad", i didnt reply. And all the other girls had put me down as a stoner, which is true though I never talked about it, or hinted. And i was funny, i was quick and could back up with fists if needed.

It wasnt till a week later after things turned sour, when I turned up in the shop high, after a music festival. I smoked more than 20 blunts in 3 days and drank lots, i cant say how much, I know i drank a 2 litre bottle of cider in 15 mins, but cans of beer? over 50 in the 3 days. I got mugged and needed to ring home, I was high on weed, to an extent lack of sleep - I only got 4.5 hours sleep in the 3 days, and lack of food, I eat one pizza in the 3 days. I was fucked, my eyes were blood shot and I couldnt walk in a straight line and focus on anything, but I needed my mum's mobile number which boss in the shop had, so i could ring home, cos i was mugged at the festival and had my phone stolen.

I remember catherine being there, and I ignored her, I cant remember everything, but I remember hearing her and the bitchy friend laughing at how wrecked I was.

---

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So you're saying you messed up your chance? You can't expect her to go backwards. If I were her I wouldn't.

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I dunno....I had asked her for her number the week before, and that bitchy freidn was in the room and laughed and I got pissed and walked out the room, and Catherine wrote it down on a piece of paper for me and gave it to me. And I called her a few times during the week and she called me back a couple of times. And then i turned up for my last day of work and waved to her as I came in, she spotted me straight away. And I didnt get a chance to talk to her till she was leaving, and as she was leaving I walked into the shop and she smiled and said "Hi Joey" as she was going, and i say bye, and she gets in her car and I walk out to stop her to talk to her, and say bye, and she stops the car and wont talk she says shes gotta pick up her sister and the bitchy friend comes over and startes pulling me as im trying to talk to catherine sayin she gotta pick up her sister!

And I ask Catherine if she wants me to call her and shes just says yeah all exasperated in an offhand way and drives off... and Im left standing there, and the bitchy friend has a big grin on her face. And theres another girl standing beside me, and I turn to her and ask her if i should call catherine and shes says "For what?" and i look at her and shes tells me she has a bf. I then get cross, I get really fucking cross, I said oh my god that fucking bitch that fucking bitch, oh my god, and i forget everything else and go back to work, only i sit down for 20 mins on my own....

I actually believed that catherine had a bf, catherine did not have a bf, shed of told me if she did and she wouldnt of given me her number.

And after I turned up high, i jetted off to England for 6 weeks. And well, its kinda funny how messed up things are... and i dont understand why we're not talking.

But actually i can remember, i think, catherine seeing me in the shop, when i was high, and leaving the area...

I dunno.

-------
Wouldn't it be cool if 19 million other muthafu*kas grew
up to be just like me?

This is what happens when bad meets evil

---

Maybe all Catherine wants it a friendship. [BTW, I'm deliberately focusing on the major point and using that, because you're splurghing with information a wee bit] She doesn't need to tell you when she's in a relationship. It's perfectly fine for her to talk to you. But perhaps she feels a bit trapped by you, hence the exasperation. Or perhaps she was merely busy.

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she could of. but i remember the day i asked her for her number was when she was trying to find out about me, and i dont focus on me when i talk. she was asking how old i was...where id be going to college, where in england i was from etc. the age question really prompted me to make a move, cos i always had her full atention, she was always lookign at em, smiling laughing, all the classic signs, and then she was trying to find out how old i was...and I couldnt help it.

-------
Wouldn't it be cool if 19 million other muthafu*kas grew
up to be just like me?

This is what happens when bad meets evil

[I'm playing devil's advocate here]

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'Love is, like, really important. It's good to be loved.
Even if it's only for one night.'

---

[I'm playing devil's advocate here]

---

i know, its wrecking my head, cos its reinforcing the doubts i have, nd it scares me shitless, cos how can i talk to her if i think she doesnt wanna see me?

-------
Wouldn't it be cool if 19 million other muthafu*kas grew
up to be just like me?

This is what happens when bad meets evil

---

Quote: from Blank black at 7:01 pm on April 3, 2008

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 [I'm playing devil's advocate here]

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i know, its wrecking my head, cos its reinforcing the doubts i have, nd it scares me shitless, cos how can i talk to her if i think she doesnt wanna see me?

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Quote: from ElephantStone at 7:04 pm on April 3, 2008

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Quote: from Blank black at 7:01 pm on April 3, 2008

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  [I'm playing devil's advocate here]

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 i know, its wrecking my head, cos its reinforcing the doubts i have, nd it scares me shitless, cos how can i talk to her if i think she doesnt wanna see me?

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What if you don't? What if you let her talk to you?

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Catherine is far too shy for that, she just wouldnt, she wouldnt be able to deal with the awkwardness. Shed be too shy in front of her friends aswell. shes a quiet person.

-------
Wouldn't it be cool if 19 million other muthafu*kas grew
up to be just like me?

This is what happens when bad meets evil

---

You can't just force yourself on her, just because she won't say no because she's shy.

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no, i didnt mean like that. Shes too shy to start talking to me again, to take the inititive. She definetly wouldnt be pressured into saying yes, she just get really awkward and quiet and start talking inaudibly if she didnt want to talk to me again and walk away.

-------
Wouldn't it be cool if 19 million other muthafu*kas grew
up to be just like me?

This is what happens when bad meets evil

---

Quote: from Blank black at 8:15 pm on April 3, 2008

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You can't just force yourself on her, just because she won't say no because she's shy.

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no, i didnt mean like that. Shes too shy to start talking to me again, to take the inititive. She definetly wouldnt be pressured into saying yes, she just get really awkward and quiet and start talking inaudibly if she didnt want to talk to me again and walk away.

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So what are you gooing to do about it?

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