The thing about meeting people on the internet is that it does feel like you can tell them anything, simply because they're at the other end of a computer screen and it can be much easier to sit and type things out instead of facing the discomfort or whatever of actually speaking about it. The next thing that's become apparent in your friendship with this person, is that internet friendships and relationships can be incredibly volatile and anything can happen at any moment, and all that person has to do is log off and continue with things happening in their life around them. That's why friendships like this are so risky. I have no idea why he would do this to you, and why he would hurt you so badly. I'm really so sorry that he's done that, and it was wrong of him to fly off the handle without discussing anything with you. Online friendships are incredibly different from those in "real life" - if you have an argument with someone close to you, all it can take is a phonecall or a visit to their house to set things right. Online, it's far more complicated and there's always a chance that you might never hear from that person again. There are positives and negatives to online friendships, in my opinion, but if you insist on getting to know someone online then I'd always advise that you be weary and recognise that by letting this person in on your deepest secrets, you're also putting yourself at risk. I understand that this is the same absolutely everywhere in life, but online, there's always the chance that you may never get to talk to a person again should they switch off their power and decide that they want to get on with things in "real life", y'know?
My point is that, despite being really hurt by all of this, there's a lesson to be learned in there, too. You let yourself get really close to someone, which I appreciate was difficult for you, but in the same sense, you didn't really know this person. Not personally - just as some words through a computer screen. Not to mention he was a lot older than you too. Again, I am so sorry that this happened to you and you didn't deserve to be hurt like this at all, but if you've learned anything from this please recognise that online friendships are always a risk for this very reason - they can up and leave whenever they want, and you'll have an incredibly difficult time getting in touch with them again, unlike friendships in real life. There's a very real chance that you might never understand why this relationship fell apart, and in order to really move on with your life, this is something that you're going to have to accept.
You done an amazingly brave and special thing in opening up to someone, and that experience in itself was probably a positive thing for you. Even though he turned out to be a bit of an idiot, you know that you CAN talk about yourself and your secrets, y'know? It is entirely possible. Next time you'll be a little more aware, though, and a little more weary of who you tell. However, there WILL be other people out there - people who can sit with you - who can listen and will understand. Please, please don't fill your heart with hate and shut yourself off from the rest of the world because, I assure you, not everyone is like him. Not everyone can just turn themselves off and not bother anymore, I promise you that. You're still very, very young and you've got so many friendships and relationships yet to experience - don't close yourself off to all of that just yet. The world is truly waiting for you, but you'll not experience any of it or see that there are people out there who can love and care for you loads if you shut yourself off to it all.
Be cautious, absolutely, but remain open. Try looking for people to trust who are more than just words on a computer screen - they're the people who can really share the real hugs and laughs and tears and giggles and secrets.
Post edited at 5:29 pm on April 6, 2008 by amiee
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it's broken beyond repair. it's in a million little pieces.
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