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Web Resources: Suicide Myths Dispelled, Suicide Information
USA Suicide Hotline: 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
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( Anonymous )
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Quite possibly the stupidest idea I've had since my suicide attempt, there's this abandoned section of houses (used to be a children's home) a few streets away. It's fenced off and pretty remote.
..I really wanna set it on fire.
I'm not really allowed out of the house without a friend or family, someone watching me to make sure I don't do anything stupid, and my friends wouldn't agree to do this, can't say I blame them.
I could pretend I was going out with a friend, go buy some flammable stuff, hop the fence and watch it burn.
I don't even know why I wanna do it, the idea just seems amazing Don't get me wrong, I understand how insane this is.
I just don't really care, I wanna watch it burn.
I know I'll probably be caught, but I guess I could just go down with it. My therapist is on holiday, and I wouldn't even tell her if she wasn't, she'd tell my parents and things would be even more fucked up.
How do I stop myself from doing this?
Half of me is just saying this is fucking insane, and the other half wants to see it BURN.
shit, wtf do I do?
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Blank black
Enlightened One
 Patron
Support Leader
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There's something very sexual, beautiful about fire. It's mesmeric, and heart wrenchingly enticing. It isn't insane, it's just showing that you do still have that certain amount of instability, to show that you crave that destruction.
But the truth is, you can't. Because you can't plan for all eventualities, and you don't seem to be the kind of person who would risk another's life or happiness, just for you to get that sense of fulfilment that you seemingly crave. You can't discount the risk that some kids may have made it into their hidey hole, that some homeless person is squatting in it. Whilst they may not be today, they may choose to the day you go into it. I would tell your therapist about this if I were you- because that's the purpose of them- to get out those ideas and thoughts that are stuck in your head and occupy your thoughts. Talk to her- and don't take the risk.
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'Love is, like, really important. It's good to be loved.
Even if it's only for one night.'
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Decadence
Omnipotent One
Patron
Support Leader
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Hey, you really need to resist this urge, as the consequences can be dire. It may be boredom that is causing you do have the urges to do this, in which case, you need to find some activities to keep yourself preoccupied. You said you're not allowed out of the house, without being looked over, perhaps this pressure is making it unbearable to cope. However, your urges are extremely dangerous and for your own sake, and the safety of others, don't try to break this. Your therapist has an understanding, about you, and is professionally trained to help. It's her duty to help you, in confidentiality, so telling her shouldn't be a problem. You may wish to tell her about your confidentiality rights, if that bothers you. However, if your parents are informed, then perhaps it wouldn't be such a bad thing?
When you get the urge to do such things, distract yourself with other and safer tasks, perhaps playing video games?
In the mean time, check out this website for some more understanding.
Stay out of trouble and stay safe. Good luck.
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Lauraaaa is my owner.
Find Madeleine
Coke heads couldn't do my lines.
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