I am doing a course at Uni that I don't love, I don't do anything that really makes me happy. I have very few friends at Uni, my grandads not well. And I have started thinking about this guy that I will probably never see ever again let alone be with. Eurgh, I feel like that passage in Road Louise says everythings dull, and she wants someone to come and change it again, like a new jesus or something and make everything shiny again. And find her street paved with gold and opportunities. Thats how I feel at the moment eurgh. Its been at least a couple of years since everything was shiny in my eyes.

-------
'Who da man, I da man....I always suspected'- Mr Greg 'genius' House

Maybe you can change your course that you don't like?!?
Go out and make new friends!! actually I'm talking to someone on LW that goes to uni!... unless there's more then one??? 0_o I don't know. lol

Spend as much time with your granddad as you can... He will cherish every moment, and when you think friends are there for you, its your family that will ALWAYS be there for you to make you smile. :)

I'm sorry I couldn't have helped you more. Good luck, and I hope you feel better.

-------
Wiifey- Stiicky Iicky---Hubby- Blackreign
Secret Lovers- xxfuked upxx & look over here
Sex Slaves- PS2luvr & baby gothica

As for friends at uni. Awk, again, I really am so sorry. We all have these lovely ideas in our heads that we're going to meet hundreds of new people and make friends for life, right? And sometimes, that's just not how it works out in the beginning. Sometimes it can take ages before you find a really good group of friends to settle with. Remember, once again, you're almost at the end of the year and when you begin your 2nd year you CAN do all those things you initially wanted to do - join those clubs and societies, get active in sports and whatnot. Those things really and truly are the ways to make friends, I absolutely assure you of that. That's how people made friends where I was at, and it's how I'm going to make friends when I go back. The one positive thing is that you DO have some friends, which is better than nothing, right? I know it's so easy to focus on all the negatives when you're feeling so low, but try having a look out for the positive things too, because they are there. You're going to have the summer to refresh yourself, to try and enjoy life and get comfortable within yourself, to build your confidence up for when you return to uni. You can and absolutely will meet new and more friends in your time there, but you really are going to have to put yourself out there. I know it's scary, I really really do, but you'll start feeling comfortable and chatting away to people in no time. Think about it this way - a wee bit of time feeling uncomfortable, compared to meeting and getting to know people, yeah? It'll be worth it, really it will. I do think it's important for you to get out there whilst you can though. Join those clubs, societies and sporting things. You will absolutely meet people that way.

I'm really sorry that you're granddads ill too. Gosh, that's so awful when a loved one falls ill, so all I can suggest is that you see or speak to him when you can. Who knows what the future holds for any of us, so don't have any regrets, y'know? You'll get through this. I wish and hope that he'll get better soon, but whilst you're waiting, get on the phone to him. Have a chat, send a card, go see him. Whatever is possible for you to do. However small a gesture may be, it can absolutely mean the world to a person sometimes.

You mentioned that you want someone to come and change your life and make it all sparkling and wonderful again. Know what I honestly think? I think you have to be that person. You're in control of your life. I know that sometimes you're not in control of your happiness and that sometimes things happen outwith your control - such as your granddad being ill - but essentially, you're life is your own and you're in control. You can make small changes and begin really smiling again. Really you can. The small changes can make the biggest differences, and I think that, first and foremost, you really need to start believing in yourself again. You CAN and you absolutely WILL get through university, there are just a few things you need to deal with firstly - your current course and your friend situation. Just taking that first small step - talking to someone about your course - will, I'll bet, help you feel even a tiny bit better. It's amazing what relief you can feel when you've just spoken about a certain problem, and tried to find ways to fix it. As I said before, you're unhappiness with your current course can be dealt with (hopefully!) and getting all that on the go by talking to someone about it can really take a weight of your shoulders. As for friends, I'd suggest you just embrace who you DO have now - try arranging nights out, meals together, stuff like that and, hopefully, you can meet people through them from now until the rest of term or, you can just enjoy the activity and begin to feel less lonely. On a bigger scale, you always have the beginning of the year in September (or whatever) to join the big groups and get to know people that way - whether they be first years, people in your year, or even people older.  

Sometimes we do go through these absolutely awful dreary patches of our lives, and we don't see any happiness or light at the end of it all, but your entire life isn't going to be this bleak forever, sweet. I'm absolutely sure of it. I honestly think there are just a few things that need sorted out, and you'll begin to feel a whole lot better about your life. Take it slow and take it easy, and you WILL do just grand and you'll pull through this. Remember too that you've got the summer holidays coming up, which are going to provide you with a bit of a break from it all - allow you to go home, chill out and relax, spend time with your grandfather, and work on that confidence of yours.

Is confidence something you think you may have a wee bit of an issue with? I suspect so, from previous posts I've read of yours. I know it can be really scary having to do all this stuff all own your own, so hopefully you can work on a few things when you go home for the summer. Try getting a part time job or something, working with people to build up that confidence. Jobs are really the perfect way to do it, because they force you to interact with new people, and eventually it comes to you with such ease that you wonder where you ever had the problem in the first place! I'm getting a bit ahead of myself now, though, looking towards the summer and jobs and all that jazz. Sorry! I just want to show you that you have so many things ahead of you, and so many ways to work out all this horrible stuff you're going through right now. You have options, yeah? Thing is, the more you sit not doing anything about any of this, the worse you'll feel and eventually it'll all seem to bad that you won't want to do anything anymore. Honestly, if I could change ANYTHING in my whole life, I'd have gotten help for my anxiety straight away at uni and never left. Don't do anything you'll regret, yeah?

I really, really wish it was better for you. Just don't give up, yeah? Life can be such an amazing experience, and you ARE doing really really well considering all your circumstances right now. University hasn't been the best start in the world, but that doesn't mean the rest of it can't be absolutely brilliant though. Try making a plan for yourself, yeah? What you're unhappy about, and how you're going to change. Then, take a deep breath, and do it.

Best of luck to you.
xx

Post edited at 4:59 pm on April 8, 2008 by amiee

-------
it's broken beyond repair. it's in a million little pieces.

Wow you have a lot on your plate right now and it is easy to see how you are so discouraged. I'll begin with the trouble that you are having in school. You mentioned that you strongly don't like the course. What course is it? If it is a basic then there is really nothing that you can do about it, because you have to get that class out of the way regardless. However, if it is a "career oriented" class - maybe you picked a career that you really don't enjoy.

If the latter is the case then perhaps you should try to re-think where you are going with life. Do you really want to be stuck with something that stresses you out and that you cannot stand? I know that I wouldn't. What part of the class is hard for you? Establishing that would probably be first on the agenda. Is it the topic of the class? Is it that the tests are hard? Is it just that the work overload combined with other stresses is really getting the better of you?Distinguishing what the real problem is the first step to getting through your stress regarding this situation.

Moving on to you not having good friends. Have you enrolled in any extra-curricular activity or group? Getting involved is really the best way to meet people who share your same interests. If all you are doing is going to school then home, you are less likely to make lasting friendships. I encourage you to get involved with some program around your home. Have you ever considered charity work? This would probably help you feel like you had more of a purpose to give back to the community, in turn most likely making some friends for yourself.

About your Grandad, I'm sorry that he is sick. It's always an added stress when you have an un-well family member around you. Just be there to really pick up the peices for him and the rest of your family. That is all you can do. Realizing that it's not your fault is important. Take care of him and the rest of your family.

Have faith in this guy, but if it doesn't work out realize that it isn't the end of the world. There are so many great guys out there and I guarantee that you will find the perfect one for you. Who knows, it could very well be him! When you know he is free you should invite him to hang out with you. After all, a boyfriend is a friend first right? Just get yourself out there!

Everyone goes through rough spots in life. Everyone experiences "storms" and trials of their own. Think of it this way; without change nothing would ever grow and bloom into something truly beautiful. The smallest weed would never bloom into a beautiful wildflower without some rain. Just keep yourself motivated and make the change for yourself. It's your life and you define your purpose. Just make sure that you don't dwell for to long, because if you dwell you are more likely to stay in an empty state for a longer period of time.

I hope that you figure things out soon.


-------
Antidisestablishmentarianism.