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( Blank black )
Soothsayer
 Patron
Support Leader
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I press the cold blade against my skin, and pull down, as hard and deep as I can possibly manage. I know the blade isn't sharp enough to do any serious damage. I don't care enough to do serious damage. I'm right though, and the cut has ragged edges, where skin has been torn rather than sliced. Putting down the blade, I pull the two sides of the wound apart, and I watch as the blood swells up, and I smile and grimace at the same time. I watch it trickle down my arm, and smell it. I taste it, and am rather surprised to find that it doesn't hurt. I still view it dispassionately, after the pure shock. So I do it again, and again. And then again. Calculated, calm. Not frenzied. That would have shocked them. They always expect it to be a wild outpouring of emotion. But that never was my way, not unless I was aiming to get something I wanted. And I would never use this to get that. This is my way, my humanization. The cold stone, made flesh, made man. Made into something I'm not, for milliseconds. I really like those milliseconds.
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'Love is, like, really important. It's good to be loved.
Even if it's only for one night.'
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St Jimmy
Dairy Product Addict
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Good Summary of the feelings there. I think this might be a trigger for self harmers though. They might get off on the idea and just start... Sounds like something I would cut to...
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Jimmy died today, he blew his brains out into the bay
In a state of mind, its my own private suicide.
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( Blank black )
Soothsayer
Patron
Support Leader
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Quote: from St Jimmy at 8:19 pm on Mar. 28, 2008
 Good Summary of the feelings there. I think this might be a trigger for self harmers though. They might get off on the idea and just start... Sounds like something I would cut to... 
The reason for the topic title, don't you think?
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'Love is, like, really important. It's good to be loved.
Even if it's only for one night.'
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XrazorxbabeX
Dairy Product Addict
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very beautiful, and dark
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in your fear, you become what you're afraid of
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