its obviously not physical pain that makes rape so traumatizing, since people break arms or legs all the time playing sports and they dont become suicidal.  

i feel like most of the trauma experienced is some sort of cultural humiliation, like "omg what would other people think." but maybe in a culture where sex was no big deal, as common as flirting, maybe rape would only be as traumatizing as say, having some creepy dude flirt with you.  

i want to point out that im not downplaying the seriousness of rape or the trauma experienced. the trauma is certainly real, im just trying to find out the source of the trauma.  

im just trying to understand something that is foreign to me. for instance, im an incredibly emotionally stable, rational person. if i were raped, i would be like "ewww gross," then id take a shower, and if i wasnt in physical pain, i would be over it pretty quickly.

Post edited at 10:20 pm on Mar. 27, 2008 by whatismouse

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"Whenever you find yourself on the side of
the majority, it's time to pause and reflect." -Mark Twain

You don't really know how you'd feel or react cause it hasn't happened to you

Post edited at 10:22 pm on Mar. 27, 2008 by ChynnaDoll

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Fighting to make my dreams a reality

Many women are threatened during rape... some are threatened with their life, and there is nothing they can do.  Others are physically over powered, and no matter the struggle, they can't get away.  It causes fear, it causes a sense of weakness...

For others?  It's a matter of trust.  If you had been raped by someone that you trusted (family, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend), do you not think that this would also hurt?  You can start losing your trust in people... and you've been hurt by someone you honestly cared about.

Likewise, some people can get pregnant, STDs or AIDS.

Now... this all being said, sex is a very personal experience for some... to have your personal space completely ignored and taken advantage of... someone takes away YOUR choice, and your right to being close to who you want.  Other women just feel disgusted about the whole event.

So... after thinking all that, I truly wondered... can I just pass it off?  I'm a girl that truly values emotionally based sex, and I have had, and continue to have, only one partner.  The thought of being touched by any other person makes me feel horrible.  Could I really just pass it off as it was nothing?  After I think about all that, I really wonder if I could.

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I've wondered this sometimes as well. While I'm not always emotionally stable, I also have a fairly good grasp over myself and logic. And I've always thought... if I was raped, would it just be "move on, and get over it?". And then... you think a bit more about it.

Many women are threatened during rape... some are threatened with their life, and there is nothing they can do. Others are physically over powered, and no matter the struggle, they can't get away. It causes fear, it causes a sense of weakness...

For others? It's a matter of trust. If you had been raped by someone that you trusted (family, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend), do you not think that this would also hurt? You can start losing your trust in people... and you've been hurt by someone you honestly cared about.

Likewise, some people can get pregnant, STDs or AIDS.

Now... this all being said, sex is a very personal experience for some... to have your personal space completely ignored and taken advantage of... someone takes away YOUR choice, and your right to being close to who you want. Other women just feel disgusted about the whole event.

So... after thinking all that, I truly wondered... can I just pass it off? I'm a girl that truly values emotionally based sex, and I have had, and continue to have, only one partner. The thought of being touched by any other person makes me feel horrible. Could I really just pass it off as it was nothing? After I think about all that, I really wonder if I could.

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well said.

There are definitely cultural connotations, but rape crosses all sorts of cultural boundaries because it is such a power assertion. People don't rape because of sexual desire, they rape as a way to violently dominate and take away someone's freedom of choice about their own body. When an army 'rapes and pillages' it is a tool of terror.

Violence against anyone is terrible, but sexual violence has all sorts of peripheral issues pertaining to an act that is supposed to be affectionate, pleasurable, consentual and creationary.

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I probably don't even mean it.
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queer Native mixed pride

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I've wondered this sometimes as well. While I'm not always emotionally stable, I also have a fairly good grasp over myself and logic. And I've always thought... if I was raped, would it just be "move on, and get over it?". And then... you think a bit more about it.

Many women are threatened during rape... some are threatened with their life, and there is nothing they can do. Others are physically over powered, and no matter the struggle, they can't get away. It causes fear, it causes a sense of weakness...

For others? It's a matter of trust. If you had been raped by someone that you trusted (family, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend), do you not think that this would also hurt? You can start losing your trust in people... and you've been hurt by someone you honestly cared about.

Likewise, some people can get pregnant, STDs or AIDS.

Now... this all being said, sex is a very personal experience for some... to have your personal space completely ignored and taken advantage of... someone takes away YOUR choice, and your right to being close to who you want. Other women just feel disgusted about the whole event.

So... after thinking all that, I truly wondered... can I just pass it off? I'm a girl that truly values emotionally based sex, and I have had, and continue to have, only one partner. The thought of being touched by any other person makes me feel horrible. Could I really just pass it off as it was nothing? After I think about all that, I really wonder if I could.

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I also hear it's shameful. Sometimes they like it a little and feel like a slut. It's really sad that they can't help it. It's also the trapped feeling.

I don't get why everybody'sso pissedat this guy. He's just wondering where the trauma stems from so he can better understand it.

Fuck everybody calling you a douchebag. You just wonder and care. People just don't like thinking before they respond to questions.

There's plenty of ways it can be traumatising, but I can't remember many. I had a big list though.

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I also hear it's shameful. Sometimes they like it a little and feel like a slut. It's really sad that they can't help it. It's also the trapped feeling.  

I don't get why everybody'sso pissedat this guy. He's just wondering where the trauma stems from so he can better understand it.  

Fuck everybody calling you a douchebag. You just wonder and care. People just don't like thinking before they respond to questions.  

There's plenty of ways it can be traumatising, but I can't remember many. I had a big list though.

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I agree, I don't see much wrong in the post... especially since you even went through and mentioned that you aren't downplaying the seriousness... but then again, just understand that some of the people on here may have experienced it, and this form of question isn't one that helps their situation...

Either way... you also have to keep in mind that emotions often times do not follow logic.  And while it's easy to say that you may keep your cool... sometimes emotions take over.  You're left with uncontrollable fears, feelings of guilt or dirtiness, maybe feelings of betraying your partner if you have one... Many people have to be reminded that it is NOT their fault... it's not always easy to maintain logic when your emotions are so strong.