My heart even hurts when I cry.. so long, as if someone understand maybe I'll get a decent reply again.

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Shut the front door.
Holy mother of pearl  

Re-read your post, and pretend that it is from someone else. What would you say? Maybe even write it down, and then read it yourself. Sometimes the answers that we give others are the best for ourselves (after all, nearly all of our given advice is based on our own experiences).

I'm sorry that I can't give you a clear-cut answer, and I truly would if I could. But, just so you know, I listened, even if my reply isn't "decent". :P

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So when you're happy (Hurray!), or sad (Aw!),
Or frightened (Eeek!), or mad (Rats!)
An interjection starts a sentence right.