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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / The Serious Forum / Viewing Topic

how do i stop them?
sibling attacks
Replies: 3Last Post Mar. 20 6:06pm by xdark angelx
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im the youngest of four children. im 16 years old. and my siblings have been calling me derrogatory names since i was 12. it all started when my brother *fred* (17) called me tramp. my sister *hilary* (20) and *fred* have been calling me slut and whore and tramp, etc. ever since. recently my bro fred lost his virginity and now he cant call me a slut ne more because im still  a virgin. i have never done anything to make them call me these things. of course i did go threw the fase of dressing a bit too skimpily and wearing too much makeup. but i dont do that ne more. now, fred has gottenm into the habit of saying something even worse to me. he knows that i have low self esteem and depression and anger issues. whenever i say something sarcastic, he says "shut up many, go kill yourself." tuesday he told me to go hang myself in my closet. its really making me depressed and i cried last nite and thought about doing that. i cant talk to my parents because they dont do anything. they just get mad and act like its all bout them. i dont want to hear "just ignore them" or "its just a sibling thing" becasue this is serious.
what do i do?

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9:12 am on Mar. 13, 2008 | Joined Feb. 2008 | 34 Days Active
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MariJani


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I don't want to sound like your parents, but I do have to SUBTLY agree with them on one thing.  Almost all siblings fight.  Siblings all say things that they don't mean, and typically they feel bad about them later.  At least that is what I have learned from experience.  

Even though your brother is saying those horrible things to you, you know as well as I do that if you were to do something bad to yourself, he would feel nothing but sadness.  You know that, that isn't something that he means, and he is just saying it so that he can attempt to say something that will actually get to you and potentially emotionally hurt you.  He has no desire for you to actually physically hurt yourself, this is all an emotional thing with him.  

I know it is really hard to look at it this way, but did you ever consider that your siblings are treating you this way because they care about you?  I am in NO WAY saying you are a slut, and I am by far from saying what they said was right, but the truth is that no one wants to see their little sister dressing provocatively.  Even though they are going about it in the complete wrong way, isn't it possible that they are just trying to deter you from the lifestyle that they don't agree with?  That is a definite possibility.

Now, there isn't really all that much that you can do to get them to stop.  As you said, your parents are of no help to you, and tbh I don't think it would do all that much good if you were to tell your siblings how you feel.  I know it sounds so cliche, but keep your head up.  Don't let what they say get you down.  When they are saying mean things to you, try and keep in mind that it is most likely because they care about you.  I know that is SO hard to always think about when you are being brought down, but it is stories like this where the term 'tough love' was coined.  

I hope things get better for you, love.

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4:37 pm on Mar. 13, 2008 | Joined Dec. 2006 | 380 Days Active
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i actually got into a fight with fred last nite because he told me to go kill myself again, and i asked my mom to tell him to stop. he told her that i just need to shove a tampon in it and stop being a bitch. i jumped on him and beat the crap outta him. didnt really help much, but my mom got him to stop saying that.

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8:43 am on Mar. 14, 2008 | Joined Feb. 2008 | 34 Days Active
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xdark angelx


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Like MJ said Siblings do fight. But I am guessing Fred* is jealous of you. Do you have a few more friends than him? Or have you had more boyfriends than he has girlfriends? Or does your parents favor you a little since your the youngest?

Your brother is bullying you though. And bully's usually do what they do because there jealous or insecure themselves. talking to your brother i think won't do much and ignoring him seems hard. This site might make you understand why your brother does it and give you advise on how you can stop him.

But like any other bully you need to take him down and i don't mean retaliate. You should never do that because it can cause you to get more hurt. You need to get your mum to listen to you and that your brother is telling you to go kill your self and that if she doesn't help you might want to consider ringing Kids' Helpline at 716-834-1144 or on their toll free line at 1(877)KIDS-400.

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6:06 pm on Mar. 20, 2008 | Joined Jan. 2005 | 617 Days Active
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