I've got these friends. Two girls, One's my age, one's eighteen. They also have a sister who's just turned thirteen. The eighteen year-old one had a creepy, stalkerish, suicidal, nineteen year-old boyfriend a while back.

That's fine. She was eighteen, she could do whatever she wanted. Eventually he got stalkerish to the point that she broke up with him, but still stayed friends.

Now, all three of these girls are in a group where the oldest one met the guy in the first place. The girl who's my age was telling me all about how creepy the guy is and how he was leaving the group for long periods of time with their thirteen year old sister (12 at the time) and how no one would be able to find them.

There's the set up. But there's more.

All these girls are obsessed with a certain site. The two older ones and I know each other's usernames and stuff. Occasionally the thirteen year-old would post on their profiles, and so I know her username as well.

So, I'm browsing through a thread last night, and I run across a post the thirteen year-old made saying that she's now in a relationship with this guy.

I personally find this incredibly disturbing. Aside from the age difference, from everything I've been told, he's unstable. I also can't be sure know if her sisters or parents know about this, and if they're dealing with it or not.

They must know though, right? I mean, the thread was really easy to find, and surely she would have told her sisters. The problem is, I'm not sure how seriously my friends would have taken it. They seem pretty laid back about allowing a stalker dude be with their sister alone for a long time.

I don't want to tell anyone, really. It seems like their business. I'd feel like it was my fault though if something happened and I hadn't told anyone.

In short, I'm pretty sure my friends must know, but aren't taking this seriously.

And I really don't want to talk to their parents about it.

Advice?

It is sweet that you think they should know, and that you are looking out for her. But, she too has to make her own mistakes, just like the first girl did.

You can't protect everyone, they have to make their own way. DO you know this boy well? Some people can have a flare for dramatics sometimes.

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And no, I don't know the boy well. Most of what I know about him comes from the three girls.

If her parents think it's alright that she's going out with someone messed up and above the legal age, whatever. I can't do anything about that.

The problem is that I'm not sure that her parents do know she's in a relationship with this guy.

Edit: I get what you're saying about the dramatics. If anyone's being dramatic in this situation though, it's the boy and not my friends. I found out she was with this guy because she was talking about how scared she was that he was going to kill himself.

Edit again: So if I don't tell her parents at this point, at what point should someone else's parents be informed of something? I guess I mean when does it stop being a mistake she needs to learn from, and a dangerous situation that she needs to get out of?

Post edited at 5:47 am on Mar. 18, 2008 by Anonymous

Explain to her that she needs to be a kid and that her sister broke up with him because he was weird and unstable and she could not help him. That she can't help him either.

Also trying to get the parents to understand too will help. They need to know that there little girl is seeing a guy who's 19 and you don't feel he's good for her. You can act like the big sister/brother to her. She might appreciate it later on.

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