I haven't seen her since her sister died because it just happened tonight.  I offered my sympathies yesterday and told her I was here if she needed anything.

This is a terrible tragedy, but there's more to make it worse.  I don't particulary like this roommate.  We seem to have arguments quiet frequently.  She tries to pick a fight, I'll end up saying something and offending her and sometimes my other two roommates I don't particulary care for either.  In fact I was going to move out at this semester and I just found an apartment for spring semester.  I haven't told my roommates yet, and now this makes it even more bad timing since of her sister's sudden death.  I brought most of the appliances and now I'm taking them with me so it's just another thing she has to worry about.  

As I said, I don't really like her...okay I DON'T like her, but I feel bad about her sister and will help her in any way I can.  

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Well when you finally tell her that you are moving out tell her that

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Tell her what?

Quote: from iJeannie at 9:19 pm on Nov. 29, 2007

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That's good, I guees, from your part.

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Not really. I just found out the apartment right before she found out her sister was sick. I didn't want to tell her I was moving out then, because she would have started bitching about it, and how she's going to have to find another table, couch, tv...whatever. But now the sister died, so it'll be like "I'm here for you, by the way I'm moving out in two weeks..."

About moving out, are you in a situation where you are required by law to give (usually) 60 or 90 days notice? If so, be sure you  give enough notice or there may be a backlash against you. In either case, give your notice, in writing and keep it simple and business-like. Hand a copy to each of your roommates so no-one can say they didn't get it. Simply say to the one who's sister died, "I'm really sorry this comes at such a difficult time for you, but I have to give my notice now." To all of them : "I know most of the appliances will go with me so I wanted to give you enough time to get your own."

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A Parent, old geezer, and occasionally right. Good judgment comes from bad
experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

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If you don't like her, she's sensed that so don't go overboard with the I'm sorries. I know you are sorry, so just say that you are and don't keep saying you'll do anything you can to help. You won't and you know it. So does she...not that she'll care about anything else for the next little while.You can be sympathetic and gentle without going overboard into hypocrisy.

About moving out, are you in a situation where you are required by law to give (usually) 60 or 90 days notice? If so, be sure you  give enough notice or there may be a backlash against you. In either case, give your notice, in writing and keep it simple and business-like. Hand a copy to each of your roommates so no-one can say they didn't get it. Simply say to the one who's sister died, "I'm really sorry this comes at such a difficult time for you, but I have to give my notice now." To all of them : "I know most of the appliances will go with me so I wanted to give you enough time to get your own."

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I'm in the dorms right now.  I will have to pay a penalty of like $600 dollars for breaking my housing contract.  As far as a notice, they just go by semester.  I haven't actually signed my college's intent to vacant contract. That would have to be done within the next two weeks. As far as the apartment, I haven't signed the lease yet.  But I'm actually subleasing it from a friend who's leaving town. So it's more of a verbal agreement right now. I know we haven't gotten along this semester. I haven't felt like a bitch. But now I do because of the timing. If she had'nt died, I wouldn't have felt guilty about leaving, actually just relieved.  But hell, maybe it'll make her day I'm leaving.