For a few years I've been a misanthropic jerk, avoiding people as much as possible and being aloof when I couldn't.
And recently I spent time with a bunch of my friends from many years, and... god... I miss people.
But I've built up a life, goals, I have plans, things to do.
And I could reject all that and have friends and live the same sort of parochial and unambitious life and not really go anywhere with it but not be alone.
Because what is the point of achieving things and running off to have adventures and having money and success and power if you have no-one to share it all with. But then maybe I'll find new people to share that stuff with...
I don't know. I am a bit scared of change here maybe, but also its true that my ambition is basically a way of running from my insecurities. I mean do I really deep down care? All this macho yang energy ...somehow... just a little social interaction made me lose my drive for things, because it was just a substitute...
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Contempt for bourgeois values is so bourgeois.
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Why do you have to chose one or the other? Why can't you still have goals and be ambitious while having healthy relationships with friends? You don't have to be with them all the time--just allow yourself the time to have a social life. 
