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Web Resources: Suicide Myths Dispelled, Suicide Information
USA Suicide Hotline: 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
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( Anonymous )
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I guess it started last November, I got really really scared about my weight, at the time, I think I weighed 90 pounds, and I was 5'1". In December, I started purging a lot of what I ate. January, I attempting suicide, and was taken into the hospital for ten days, and into outpatient hospitalization for a month. Last May I was back in the hospital for suicide again. I've kept purging, and for a while I was on medicine for a hole in my esophogus (not sure how to spell it, sorry.) and I was told not to eat anything too spicy, too sweet, too sugary, or too salty, and not to purge or I would be on a feeding tube. Well, I stopped purging for a while, but started up again. I'm so scared now about my weight, I am really really scared. The more weight I lose I just feel like I look bigger and bigger. My therapist is getting me a nutritionist that specializes with eating disorders to work with me on calories. All my friends are telling me that this is going to kill me, that I'll be in the hospital again, that I'm going to die, and stuff, and it's really really scary. Part of me just wants to end my life now, and part of me just wants to live. I just keep breaking down crying, and can't stop during the day. I don't know what to do. Please, don't tell me to "Just eat" because, I'm not going to. Right now it seems I have to chose between my happiness and my health, and those are two of the most important things to me.
Right now I weigh 75 pounds and I am 5'2"
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 LiveWire Humor
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dys
Novice
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well call an eating disorder hotline
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What you think of yourself is true not what others think of you
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8:58 am on June 28, 2008 | Joined: May 2008 | Days Active: 44
Join to learn more about dys Ohio, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 184 | Points: -326
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carnage44
Soothsayer
 Patron
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What psychiatric medications are you on because, as we all know, this has nothing to do with food?
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Happiness is walking hand in hand.
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Aliboo
Soothsayer
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I don't think you can be happy living how you are. Wanting to take your life and feeling like you are overweight in no way makes you happy. In fact, you are underweight, and you are sick. So, what you need to do is work with your doctors and therapists. Really focus on getting better. You need to realize that your life is a gift, you cant throw it away by destroying yourself like this. You need to work on self acceptance, loving yourself no matter how you look, before you can get fully better. I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this, but dont do it alone, ask for help and get better. Stay strong, and good luck.
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"Tell them to look up, tell them to remember the stars." Renee, TWLOHA.com
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9:10 am on June 28, 2008 | Joined: Oct. 2007 | Days Active: 414
Join to learn more about Aliboo Ohio, United States | Label Free Female | Posts: 6,733 | Points: 11,604
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( Anonymous )
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Quote: from Aliboo at 9:10 am on June 28, 2008
 I don't think you can be happy living how you are. Wanting to take your life and feeling like you are overweight in no way makes you happy. In fact, you are underweight, and you are sick. So, what you need to do is work with your doctors and therapists. Really focus on getting better. You need to realize that your life is a gift, you cant throw it away by destroying yourself like this. You need to work on self acceptance, loving yourself no matter how you look, before you can get fully better. I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this, but dont do it alone, ask for help and get better. Stay strong, and good luck.
I'm not happy right now. But I don't feel like I could possibly be happy eating. Ever.
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( Anonymous )
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Quote: from carnage44 at 9:09 am on June 28, 2008
What psychiatric medications are you on because, as we all know, this has nothing to do with food?
Depicoat (Not sure how to spell, sorry.) and Seroquel.
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