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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Short Stories & Poetry / Viewing Topic

another one of my poems.
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Replies: 5Last Post July 2, 2008 1:10pm by DemolitionxXxLover
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( SoaringFalcon2010 )


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as we walk through the darkened streets,
side by side  the tension heats.
as we wished we knew what to do,
not knowing the other has no clue.
why does love have to be like this,
why does it have to hurt what happened to bliss?
i look in your eyes and see myself,
this obssession can not be good for my health.
i just wished i could tell you how im feeling,
not knowing the same problem your dealing.
i feel like a stranger in my own mind,
because with you im compleatly blind.
why cant we just tell eachother,
why hiding it do we even bother?
as i look in your eyes i see the tears,
and the truth my ears hears.
you tell me how much you care,
and our lives we shoud share.
as i feel the tears in my own eyes,
i tell u the story of my lies.
and then we walk off hand in hand,
together forever we to stand.

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"People say I'm strange does that make me a stranger
that my best friend was born in a manger?" Proud
Jesus Freak!!=D

1:05 pm on July 2, 2008 | Joined: June 2008 | Days Active: 356
Join to learn more about SoaringFalcon2010 Tennessee, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 4,181 | Points: 8,730
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xsnortingxashesx


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I like your poem, but I couldn't pay attention because we have the same avatar.

Post edited at 1:07 pm on July 2, 2008 by xsnortingxashesx

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1:06 pm on July 2, 2008 | Joined: Oct. 2007 | Days Active: 341
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tenchi1084


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wonderful, just wonderful.  points to you(if I have any)

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1:08 pm on July 2, 2008 | Joined: Dec. 2007 | Days Active: 300
Join to learn more about tenchi1084 Washington, United States | Gay Male | Posts: 4,142 | Points: 7,270
carracer


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Its good
i think it would be better as a not rhyming poem though
and maybe expand on the darkened streets image

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The world is only as sweet as you make it and only as terrible as you see it

1:08 pm on July 2, 2008 | Joined: Dec. 2007 | Days Active: 308
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( SoaringFalcon2010 )


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Quote: from xsnortingxashesx at 1:06 pm on July 2, 2008

I like your poem, but I couldn't pay attention because we have the same avatar.

shoot we do hahaha.

-------
"People say I'm strange does that make me a stranger
that my best friend was born in a manger?" Proud
Jesus Freak!!=D


1:08 pm on July 2, 2008 | Joined: June 2008 | Days Active: 356
Join to learn more about SoaringFalcon2010 Tennessee, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 4,181 | Points: 8,730
DemolitionxXxLover


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I really like it.

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1:10 pm on July 2, 2008 | Joined: Aug. 2005 | Days Active: 383
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