Recently, I have found myself almost disgusted by the way in which members of my church have acted over the years.  Over the past four years for example, many members have left because either they don't like the pastor or, most recently, the school portion has closed.  Now, my pastor is not at all a bad man, in fact, he has tried very hard since he got here to increase church attendence and participation.  At the beginning a lot of members were disgruntled because they thought the way the new pastor conducted church was too much like a catholic church (which we aren't, we're protestant).  So the pastor decided to sort of go back to the old way (which was a little boring, and at least the "catholic" way was a little more beautiful...in word), and then those same people who were raising hell about it leave anyway.

Now about the school.  The school part of our church had been on its way to closing for years now (enrolled decreased every year and this year they would have had every level k-8 taught by one teacher).  They decided to close it this year, and now certain members are sort of disgruntled and deciding to leave the church itself.  Also, because of this, I think my dad is getting some of the backlash (he's and elder and was part of the vote that closed the school.  The thing is, he didn't even want to vote because he didn't think it was right since none of his kids went to the school any more already, but since he is an elder it was his church duty).

It's not the church or the religion itself that makes me cringe, but the way some of our "most-esteemed" memebers act.  They gossip, the take sides, and they act mean to people if they are disgruntled against them and make it a whole church issue when it's not (members in the past have left because they've been angry at another member in the church over a matter outside of the church).  Recently one of the things that hurt is one of the guys I had grown up with and really respects my mom graduated and had his party and our family was never even invited.  That really hurt, and my mom has told me it's over the whole school issue.  "Maybe they were full?"  I don't think so.   I grew up with him, we went to church together our whole lives, he has the greatest respect for my mom and talks to her anytime he sees her, is friends with my older siblings, my parents and older siblings were invited to his older brother's wedding, and also, his parents are my younger sister's godparents.  Don't you think we should have been invited?

I don't know, like I said, it almost disgusts me.  Now, this is not a bash on my religion or my church itself, I just am upset now that I'm older and realize what's going on around me.

*sigh* I don't know what else to say.

xx