Well I'm considering giving up alcohol altogether after last night and last Saturday night. Note: I'm still a little bit drunk. here's the sequence of events.

I put on my suit at about 5 o’clock yesterday evening and made it to the church with my family at 6 for photos and shit. I was dying for a pint and was really looking forward to having a few drinks and I was revved up. I was in great form, smiling, hugging the girls, posing in photographs. Then going into the church I got sat in between 2 pretty girls and I was pretending to try and pick which one I would have as my date and trying not to stand or kneel on their dresses.

After mass I really, really wanted to go down to an off-licence and get some cheap beer, but every time I tried a teacher came over and stopped me.

Now there was one really pretty girl, I mean she was beautiful. Her name is Sinead and she's in my art class and she is lovely. She's artsy, generous, nice and is just lovely. Well I've always had a soft spot for her, and she used to have a crush on me when she was going out with a friend of mine 2 years ago.

Well that friend of mine, Sinead’s boyfriend, died in a car crash a year and a half ago, so that makes things a little difficult. But Sinead has always been nice to me and talks to me a lot and smiles and laughs with me.

Well I walked over to Sinead and said that it was awful hard trying to stay out of these photos and Sinead takes her camera out and says “Oh please can I have a photo of you Joe?” and then she gets another girl to stand beside me and says “You 2 can be boyfriend and girlfriend”. Sinead is sweet like that, she's like a child.

So as soon as I could, my best mate who is called Dylan, and I ran down to the off-licence to get some cheap beer before the procession of cars drove off to the hotel for dinner.

At the hotel I rushed straight to the bar and ordered a pint, and then another one. Then dinner was called and they wouldn’t let us out to the bar for some reason. So I walked all the way around the fucking golf course out the back and then around to the front of the hotel and to the bar, which was about 2 miles long so I could get a drink in between the starter and main course. I just sat down in the bar and was ordering my drink when some staff member of the hotel comes in and takes me back and marches me through the hotel back to the room where the meal was. Without a drink.

So I had to wait ages and ages before they opened the bar for us after the meal and I went straight to the bar and ordered a double vodka and blackcurrant. A few of those and I was pretty drunk. I was the first person to be drunk, and probably the only person to get really pissed there at the hotel. I went on the dance floor a couple of times and I think I had a dance with Sinead.

It was on my 3rd or 4th time to be queing at the bar and Sinead was standing beside me and we had a little chat and I asked her id she has "L" plates on her car, cos we were talking about cars and shes only a Learner driver, and she said no, she doesnt believe in them.

I was receiving compliments on how smart I looked in my suit and that I clean up well. And some even said I had the nicest suit there.

I was shocked and appalled to see that when I wanted another drink the fucking bar was closed. So desperately looking for drink I saw one of the young female teachers carrying a lot of glasses of Vodka and whites and 4 bottles of white wine in a bucket of ice. So I sweet talked a glass of vodka off her and then one of my friends gave me her vodka and white. Then when there was only one teacher left at the teacher’s table. Who was a loser, and I often catch her looking at me in the corridors and she's not gonna say anything to me, so I take an empty pint glass and I went over to the table and in full view pour myself a pint of wine from one of the bottles. The teacher looked at me and I gave her a little smile and she looked away, then I returned to the girls I was talking to and they gave me a pat on the back.

Later on I was teasing the female teachers and I had a half pint glass and I was gonna get another glass of wine off them and I was about to pour it and this bitchy hot one stopped me and then they all decided to agree with her and she was awful annoying saying “That's ours. That's ours.” Sharing is caring.

So I felt pretty shit about the way that teacher looked at me, and I was feeling a bit pathetic over the amount Id already drunk. Id missed the time to go to the nightclub cos I was too drunk. Then I heard there was a house party at an abandoned house and everyone was going to that. I didn’t have a change of clothes and I told Sinead, and she told me it was alright and that I look fine as it is.  

I really don't know if drinking suits me now, cos recently I go quiet and thoughtful when I get drunk. I go into my own little shell and I think about things. We all climbed on a bus to this house party and people who smoke lit up fags and they all started singing and chanting – stuff I used to do. I don't think I can take this lifestyle anymore. It upset me, it made me fee small, and I sat in the middle of the bus, quiet looking out the window, and I thought about Catherine. I genuinely thought about Catherine and how even the nicest, sweetest girls end up being sluts and aren’t nearly as innocent as you think they are and that they don't really care about you and aren’t going to look after you.

So sitting there I thought about how shit I felt then and how great I felt when I was sober, and how just thinking about Catherine made me feel weak and pathetic along with the drink. I don't think I can cope with the night scene anymore – slutty girls, sex, drugs, cigarettes, drink, swearing, fights, etc. It weighs heavy on my heart now. I thought about giving up alcohol for good.

We made it to the house party and I rushed in and necked a can of cider, then a guy was going around with a bottle of vodka pouring shots, and I took 4 off him. I then drank a lot more, don't ask me what. Sinead waved to me and smiled when she saw m, and in the room where the music was she reached out and danced with me, but I had to apologise to her for being so fucking drunk and that couldn’t dance.

I had awful difficulty walking and was swaying and feeling a little embarrassed in front of the intelligent, well mannered, sober girls who were chatting me up when I looked so smart and dignified in my suit earlier in the day. But they didn’t seem to mind at all and smiled and said hi to me.

2 guys were trying to chat up Sinead, guys she knew I noticed. I didn’t really care. I just noticed. They were older than us and gate crashed the party, but neither of them got anywhere with her. It was strange too cos my best mate Dylan and I were sitting on a couch in the music room talking and Sinead was gone nuts dancing and comes over and asks Dylan to dance with her and he waves her off, cos we talking about serious stuff and he was telling me to stop drinking cos I’d black out soon. I knew it too and I stopped…except for one or 2 more shots of vodka, then I stopped.

Before that I was standing outside the bathroom with Sinead and she was waiting to get in and for whatever reason I was stroking the upper part of her arm for no reason, probably for being sweet, and she was smiling at me and told me “You are very drunk.” But she didn’t care; it was more an offhand comment with no judgement. Then she went in the bathroom and I walked away. She went home sometime after that.

I was awfully drunk after Sinead left and 3 lads decided they’d gang up on me and fight me; one of them hit me in the back. Then 15 or so lads, including my mate Dylan and my other friends came over and pushed them round and Dylan hit one of them in the nose and I was left alone for the rest of the night.

Actually, a year ago I had a fist fight with a friend in a classroom at school that resulted in both of us getting a 4 day suspension and we never really talked after that, but at the grad he came up to me and bought me a pint, so I got back on good terms with him.

I was too drunk to do anything about Sinead other than the time I rubbed her arm, and that was all it would have been. I don't think I can just kiss in the middle of the night now, the cheapness; the absolute lustness of it disgusts me. That is why I don't think I can cope with the nightlife anymore. I'm not a player anymore.

So my best mate made sure I didn’t drink anymore, and he was pretty mashed too.

I had sobered up a bit but about 7 in the morning and a taxi was called. My best mate and I got in it, and it stopped off about half way to where I wanted to get to, so while the driver was gone I jumped out and decided to walk the rest of the way to town so I wouldn’t have to pay the fare and I hid behind the petrol station till they had driven off. I called home and got mum to pick me up in the town centre in an hour, so that I would have a chance to walk off some of my drunkenness.

I was in a good mood; I had a good time at the house party. I enjoyed being very close to blacking out and having everyone around me on a similar stage of drunkenness rather than me being the only one. I was feeling braver more confident in myself and it was daytime now.  

I made it to the town after walking 3 miles in my suit! I went into the shop where Catherine works and I was quite tipsy and Catherine wasn't working but other girls I knew were and they were admiring my suit and asking me about it.

Then I walked around the town seeing of any of the bars were open so I could get a pint for having walked 3 miles in my shoes, but not one was open at 9am.

My mum picked me up and drove me home, where I went to bed.

So I think Ill give up alcohol now, although I love before drinking, and then the drowsiness at the end of the night. But do you think, from the above, and that is a typical night for me, that I have some sort of dependency on alcohol? Because there is no chance of stopping once I start.

Its also quite annoying that I ended up thinking about Catherine, and it really annoyed me when I saw one of the prettiest, nicest, smartest teachers asking the girls for a fag, and it just disgusted me and made me realise that almost every girl is a “blowjob for a kitkat” and there doesn’t seem to be any girl who has high standards and is the boss. It made me think about what Catherine might get up to on her nights out, and fuck it, that isn't what I wanted to think about it.

Does anything else jump out at you?

Also I realised that after the little bit of time I spent with Sinead and the attantion she was giving me during the night, that I do like her a lot. She is so pretty and nice, and it might help me step away from Catherine. I hadnt really talked to her in a long time and that time I spent with her I really enjoyed, especially when for no reason I was stroking her arm and she didnt mind and how each time she saw me she smiled. I think Ill get her number the next night out.

Post edited at 2:17 pm on June 26, 2008 by ElephantStone

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Punctured bicycle on a hillside, desolate,
Could nature make a man of me yet?

Go to rehab.

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Am I the only girl that got massively turned on by this guy's attitude?

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Probably. But then again alcoholics dont turn me on.

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So I walked all the way around the fucking golf course out the back and then around to the front of the hotel and to the bar, which was about 2 miles long so I could get a drink in between the starter and main course.

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PS: I read the whole thing, my full answer will come in a few minutes.

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and victorious in war shall be made glorious in peace.

You need serious help, you had the perfect opportunity to have a good night, and could have enjoyed yourself without getting wasted! You had girls flirting with you, asking you to dance but you were too pissed to do anything. What does this tell you.

The fact some guys started on you as well and you couldn't even defend yourself shows the danger which you are putting yourself in EVERY time you have consumed alcohol. Another thing you were the first to be drunk at this meal, you were constantly gagging for a drink, you have a problem!

You need serious help because you aren't doing your body any good and also generally you don't see the affects. You might like how it makes you feel however that is only temporary, it goes away and gets replaced by a horrible feeling. If you don't see it then you need to start looking at how you are going to fuck up your life if you continue this way.

Looking for alcohol at 9 in the morning, you are an alcoholic, but you need to go to some sort of meetings because you have developed an unhealthy dependence on the alcohol, which isn't good. The fact that you always go on about a night out where you have been drinking shows you don't lay off it at all. You don't know when to stop drinking at start sobering up a bit. You like to be unconscious basically and that's when you eventually stop drinking. Have you not thought about the big picture of how this is effects areas of your life.

Relationships, you haven't had a healthy relationship from what I've read from you before. You became obsessed with a girl and drink seemed like your escape to make an idiot of yourself and forget the world. Well now it's time to sober up and see what is out there to offer for yourself because guess what the world looks differently when sober, and you can appreciate the finer things in life.

EDIT: I can't think anymore Other than you need help

Post edited at 8:26 am on June 26, 2008 by Corrupted Innocence

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Dreaming Of A Day Where Things Are Different!
Fruitlady is my Wifey
♥The Love Group Is Back♥

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Was actually really interesting if you bother to read it.  
I don't really have much advice but it seems to me like you need to cut down, like walking 3 miles round a golf course to get a pint? Needing one at 9am to say well done to yourself. Seems a bit like you're starting to depend on it to have good time or whateverrr.

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The wanting a pint this morning is different though....and this is where it confuses me as to whether I have a dependancy on alcohol or not. I waled 3 miles in a suit. I had built up a sweat, I wanted a nice ice cold pint of Heinekin and a sit down.

If I really wanted alcohol Id of got a miller or 2 in the off-lisence.

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Punctured bicycle on a hillside, desolate,
Could nature make a man of me yet?

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Quote: from Day Old Blues at 3:30 pm on June 26, 2008

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Was actually really interesting if you bother to read it.
 I don't really have much advice but it seems to me like you need to cut down, like walking 3 miles round a golf course to get a pint? Needing one at 9am to say well done to yourself. Seems a bit like you're starting to depend on it to have good time or whateverrr.

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The wanting a pint this morning is different though....and this is where it confuses me as to whether I have a dependancy on alcohol or not. I waled 3 miles in a suit. I had built up a sweat, I wanted a nice ice cold pint of Heinekin and a sit down.

If I really wanted alcohol Id of got a miller or 2 in the off-lisence.

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You said the point of the walk was to walk off some of the drunkeness though. So surely you would have wanted a non-alcoholic drink? Maybe you should ask someone close to you what they think. They might have a better idea of how often you drink and what you're like when you are drunk. But I mean, saying you were enjoying the feeling of nearly blacking out and stuff just makes me think you might be on the road to a problem.

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you're no oil painting.

I dunno but I never get the same feeling froma coke or water. An ice cold draught pint in the sunshine...nothing nicer. Is that alcoholic? I dont think it is.

a road to a probelm is my big fear, adn I cant disagree with you on that one, especially with my drinking in the clubs....

but yeah, youre right.

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Punctured bicycle on a hillside, desolate,
Could nature make a man of me yet?

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What? Man, I enjoyed reading that!!! Don't listen to these gobshites on this site, seriously!!!
And why would you give up drinking?!
Sounds like a decent night/morning to me!! Relax man, you're young, drink on!!!!
Clubs here in Kildare are good!!

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Not that i don't like reading other members opinions i think you know that you have to stop or at least cut own on the drinking ES because it's causing you problems in your life in my opinion. You depend on it to have a good time which is so not what it's about.

Yes also you may be young however you are starting to depend on alcohol. I know you say how there is nothing better than a pint in the sun, but when it comes to more than a few it gets bad and you change what you drink (or i assume you would). You need to learn when to stop drinking, and start sobering up because on of these days you might put yourself in real danger.

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Dreaming Of A Day Where Things Are Different!
Fruitlady is my Wifey
♥The Love Group Is Back♥