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Shortened because you lazy fucks won't read. |
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 Replies: 11 — Last Post July 25 4:14pm by Anonymous
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Web Resources: Drug Myths Dispelled, Drug & Alcohol Information
USA Drug Abuse Hotline: 1-800-662-4357
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( Anonymous )
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Hi Mom,
Yes, I'm obviously a liar, but please don't put any blame on Manny. We talked a little after you sent that email to him because he needed me to tell him everything. He hadn't quite "hit rock bottom" yet, and he just needed me to confirm what you had said. after I did so, he told me he had no hard feelings and we said goodbye. we stopped talking for about a week. then I initiated a conversation. I felt guilty and was apologizing again for what I did, and within a couple minutes we were in an "in-depth" conversation. He now knows the real me. The next few conversations he would always stress to me that he was going against his word But I kept insisting that we keep talking. So the fact that we still talk today is my fault. Obviously he could have blocked me or ignored me, but he wouldn't do that.
This whole experience has really lowered my self-esteem and my self-worth if that makes sense, and I truly regret everything. I wish I never created that account on LiveWire. I wish I never got carried away with the need to be pretty, and I wish I never found those pictures of that girl. It only contributed to my jealousy. Just a need to be liked by someone. And I guess I thought this was the way to go. But I realize all this was just a big mistake. I've never had a high self-esteem and you know that. And just as I was getting better and more confident, I have to pull crap like this and ruin everything. I'm now back to where I used to be. I feel awful, I feel disgusted by myself. I don't even know who I'm going to become when I'm older. I'm scared I will only get worse. I feel stuck, dwelling on what I can't change. I never mean to screw up this much and I hope you know that. I just take everything too far. You've told me before that I need deep psychological help, and you're probably right. I was going to wrap this up by begging if I could keep talking to Manny, but there is really no point. He is just a guy from the Internet, I should be able to block and just move on. If you want me to stop talking to him, I will. It will take time because I've gotten attached to him. The reason why you always find me asleep with my phone in my bed is because the night before I was laying in bed talking to him on AIM until one of us fell asleep. He calls me all the time leaving me voicemails when he's bored, when he's lonely, or just when he feels like it. I listen to them all the time. I know this is the Internet, but I feel close to him. I've changed him, he's changed me. he used to drink and do drugs. HE doesn't anymore. I made him promise to me he wouldn't anymore, and except for one or maybe twice, he's stopped everything. That's what I mean when I say change. He's very sweet and very funny, and he has a good heart. He has been through a LOT. He has no dad, he grew up with gangs, he had to man up at an early age to help his mom take care of all his sisters. He has a lot on his plate, and he needs someone to talk to. and even after all my mistakes and lies, he still likes talking to me. So, I'll ask just once, no begging...if I can continue talking to Manny. Again, I'm sorry. and I love you so much.
Love,
me. Post edited at 4:03 pm on July 25, 2008 by Anonymous
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Baron Samedi
Soothsayer
 Sustainer
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It's still too long.
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ର_ର
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Permious
Executive
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None of us are your mother. I think you should send this shit to her.
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jesus christ was a cunt and a rapist
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dont notice me
Enlightened One
 Patron
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you are quite awful at shortening stuff
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I love you with all my heart
no matter the asshole reply I leave in your topic.
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brittonlana
Dairy Product Addict
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you are quite awful at shortening stuff
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hoogorvorst
Advisor
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I lol'd
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I know more bout this place than you think
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Just Waiting Here
Dairy Product Addict
Patron
Support Leader
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I'm not sure what you want from this. Do you want commentary, do you want soemoen to say it's good? All in all, this is a personal letter, and any input from an outsider would take that away from it. If you need to communicate with your mother, then this could be a great way. You can even put in a request to sit and talk to one another. Give her the chance to understand where you're coming from, WHY you do what you do, and whether or not you realize that there are dangers on the internet (Which is most likely what terrifies her the most). Showing parents you understand, and do have some maturity and logic behind your actions can often times help them help YOU. Hopefully things work out.. at the end of the day, no matter what your mother says, her reasoning is always the same. She cares for you, and wants to protect you :). Oh, and... lmao at the people that say it's too long. If you don't want to "waste your time" reading about something (or you don't have the attention span), then don't waste your time, everyone else's time, and space by posting something useless. Post edited at 4:08 pm on July 25, 2008 by Just Waiting Here
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biskitz
Soothsayer
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If we won't read it, we won't read it. Get over it
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Livewire's Official Sheriff
Deputee: berserk1313
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4:07 pm on July 25, 2008 | Joined Jan. 2006 | 381 Days Active
Join to learn more about biskitz Connecticut, United States | Straight Male | 8861 Posts | 13354 Points
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( Anonymous )
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Quote: from Just Waiting Here at 4:06 pm on July 25, 2008
 I'm not sure what you want from this. Do you want commentary, do you want soemoen to say it's good? All in all, this is a personal letter, and any input from an outsider would take that away from it. If you need to communicate with your mother, then this could be a great way. You can even put in a request to sit and talk to one another. Give her the chance to understand where you're coming from, WHY you do what you do, and whether or not you realize that there are dangers on the internet (Which is most likely what terrifies her the most). Showing parents you understand, and do have some maturity and logic behind your actions can often times help them help YOU. Hopefully things work out.. at the end of the day, no matter what your mother says, her reasoning is always the same. She cares for you, and wants to protect you :). Oh, and... lmao at the people that say it's too long. If you don't want to "waste your time" reading about something (or you don't have the attention span), then don't waste your time, everyone else's time, and space by posting something useless. 
Thank you.
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