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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Humor & Jokes / Viewing Topic

I'm not drunk.
Replies: 10Last Post July 17 10:20am by bluetigerclaws001
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( jasonzlpa )


Executive
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I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cellar and my wife insisted I empty the contents of each bottle down the sink, or else...

After careful consideration, I reluctantly agreed and finally proceeded with the unpleasant task.

I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank.

Then, I withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass, which I drank.

I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank.

I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank.

I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass.

I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle.

Then, I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.

When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which were twenty-nine, and as the houses came by I counted them again, and finally I had
all the houses in one bottle, which I drank.

I'm not under the affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep I am.

I'm not half as thunk as you might drink. I fool so feelish I don't know who is me, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.

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Joke Thread!


9:30 am on July 17, 2008 | Joined Feb. 2008 | 114 Days Active
Join to learn more about jasonzlpa Missouri, United States | Straight Male | 1792 Posts | 3213 Points
BabiGurlForevva


Dairy Product Addict
Reply
?

9:32 am on July 17, 2008 | Joined Mar. 2008 | 43 Days Active
Join to learn more about BabiGurlForevva Pennsylvania, United States | Straight Female | 770 Posts | 1253 Points
hockeyguitar99


Executive
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LOL WUT

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[img]http://www.fan2band.com/DynamicImages/89157_336_43_1044.gif[/img]

9:32 am on July 17, 2008 | Joined Jan. 2007 | 195 Days Active
Join to learn more about hockeyguitar99 Illinois, United States | Metrosexual Male | 1522 Posts | 3484 Points
JulieisWHOA


Advisor
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Quote: from BabiGurlForevva at 9:32 am on July 17, 2008

?

That's what I was thinking. lol

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~*~T&J Forever~*~

9:33 am on July 17, 2008 | Joined July 2008 | 19 Days Active
Join to learn more about JulieisWHOA Georgia, United States | Straight Female | 438 Posts | 660 Points
pclueless92


Quality Control Engineer
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lolwut
hahaha ididnt get that

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"I believe once you trulyyy love someone; you never stop."

9:33 am on July 17, 2008 | Joined July 2008 | 22 Days Active
Join to learn more about pclueless92 Massachusetts, United States | Straight Female | 477 Posts | 780 Points
its only me


Wealthy Hobo
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LOL this is fantastic

Post edited at 9:34 am on July 17, 2008 by its only me

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Whats left to lose? Lets drink the night away again,
This blackened heart wont bleed, my body's bruised and broke


9:33 am on July 17, 2008 | Joined July 2007 | 155 Days Active
Join to learn more about its only me England, United Kingdom | Straight Female | 2552 Posts | 4282 Points
MyFavoriteAccident


Dairy Product Addict
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Lolol.

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"Take this advice, live by every word, love's completely real,
so forget anything that you've heard & live for the moment now"

9:33 am on July 17, 2008 | Joined July 2008 | 27 Days Active
Join to learn more about MyFavoriteAccident New York, United States | Straight Female | 738 Posts | 1182 Points
fullmooncurse


Executive
Reply
Meh
I was about to bitch about you wasting alcohol.
But them you said it was whiskey.
Eww

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Talk to yourself and you'll hear what you want to hear.

9:36 am on July 17, 2008 | Joined Nov. 2007 | 153 Days Active
Join to learn more about fullmooncurse Washington, United States | Bisexual Female | 2267 Posts | 3811 Points
armygirll88


Technician
Reply
?

9:37 am on July 17, 2008 | Joined June 2008 | 33 Days Active
Join to learn more about armygirll88 Ohio, United States | Straight Female | 42 Posts | 379 Points
( jasonzlpa )


Executive
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Quote: from BabiGurlForevva at 11:32 am on July 17, 2008

?

lol, he's getting drunk b/c for each shot of whiskey he drinks, he starts to lose it, and starts slurring his words.  lol, it's great when you think about it.

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Joke Thread!


9:39 am on July 17, 2008 | Joined Feb. 2008 | 114 Days Active
Join to learn more about jasonzlpa Missouri, United States | Straight Male | 1792 Posts | 3213 Points
bluetigerclaws001


Connoisseur
Reply
now that was confusing

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dont ever be alone

10:20 am on July 17, 2008 | Joined Jan. 2006 | 247 Days Active
Join to learn more about bluetigerclaws001 Ontario, Canada | Straight Female | 3789 Posts | 6400 Points
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