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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / The Serious Forum / Viewing Topic

my friend had a baby and lost it
Replies: 4Last Post July 15 12:41am by xoxo1234
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( Anonymous )

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I don't know what to say, my friend lives a while away from me and he just told me over msn that he because a dad last week. I immediately said, congratulations. He goes "no, he died after 26 minutes"

He's 17 years old and he's already been through so much stuff in his life, he shouldn't have to have this too. He was going to be the perfect dad, he'd never planned on having kids this early, it was all an accident. But he has a full time job, he was going to get a house. Of all the babies who you see on chat shows where the dad is so out of their lives, this dad would have been there, every second.

I don't know what to say to him, I've never experienced anything like this. Nothing. I just want to be there for him and hug him for hours. I wouldn't even have to say anything, just let him know I was there. But we're far away and I just want to say something to make it better, but there's nothing.


3:02 pm on July 14, 2008
xoxo1234


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This is a reply from the member HatesYou. She isn't a support leader, but would like to send you the following reply:

Hey, i know it can be hard to try and comfort a friend.
Especially when you cant find a specific way to do it.
The only thing you can do, as of now, is give him some space.
Sometimes, one can only take so much pity. If you continue to remind him of how sorry you are, or anything of the sort, it will only hurt him even more, for he will constantly be reminded of this grave incident.

Instead, try giving him some space. Let him think things through.
He's only 17, let him now that he will have another chance. You can try and comfort him, but just remember to let him have some space and think things through. There's not much else you can do to help, i'm afraid.

I know you might feel guilty, simple because you dont have to opportunity to be there for him. But i'm sure he understands that you care.

Like you said, you ARE new to his kind of situation, but there's a first for everything. The only thing you can do, as of now, is put yourself in his place. Think about how shitty he might feel, and how distanced from others he may want to be.
Just let him know that you're there for him if he ever needs a friend, or someone to simply talk to.

I wish your friend the best of luck.

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4:25 pm on July 14, 2008 | Joined April 2007 | 304 Days Active
Join to learn more about xoxo1234 Israel | GLBT Ally Female | 13697 Posts | 26468 Points
xoxo1234


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By the way, I answered your eHelp. =)

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4:34 pm on July 14, 2008 | Joined April 2007 | 304 Days Active
Join to learn more about xoxo1234 Israel | GLBT Ally Female | 13697 Posts | 26468 Points
( Anonymous )

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Quote: from xoxo1234 at 12:34 am on July 15, 2008

By the way, I answered your eHelp. =)

Thankyou, I didn't get any replies on here so I posted it twice, if that's okay.


11:54 pm on July 14, 2008
xoxo1234


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Of course, that's fine. =)

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12:41 am on July 15, 2008 | Joined April 2007 | 304 Days Active
Join to learn more about xoxo1234 Israel | GLBT Ally Female | 13697 Posts | 26468 Points
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