I hate phones...

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"Under the hardness of her facade a woman's heart is still beating."

In terms of your boyfriend... it's scary sometimes... but sometimes he's just on the other end waiting for you to call, and just hoping that you will.  Someone has to make the first step.  If you call him, and he doesn't answer, chances are, he will call you back when you're ready.  But if you don't call at all, you might both just be sitting there waiting...

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Afraid of phone calls, well it sounds understandable in your circumstances!!!

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Yeah, and that's just the half of it. I'm also afraid of my bf's phone in particular because, when I went to visit him ni December, his ex called, the one he said he still had feelings for, and I wasn't even aware that he'd contacted/texted her again behind my back. After that, I couldn't help but check his phone and see if they were in touch with one another and they had been, he texted her and basically said he'd get back to her when he got home for the holidays...after I left and he could have some privacy, basically... And now he's got another chick calling him nonstop because she has a thing for him...so I can't even stand to hear his phone ring/beep because there's at least a 75% chance that the person on the other end will be yet another girl.

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"Under the hardness of her facade a woman's heart is still beating."

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I've had problems with phones like that. My dad wouldn't pick up the phone and listen. He would record phone conversations. That's not paranoia speaking, it's a known fact. He's also told me outright that he could watch EVERY move I made on the computer. I don't live with him any more, he only did it as a form of protecting me... but still. It's very scary, and even now I sometimes wonder if a phone that he doesn't even know exists is tapped by him. It's hard to shake the fear.

In terms of your boyfriend... it's scary sometimes... but sometimes he's just on the other end waiting for you to call, and just hoping that you will. Someone has to make the first step. If you call him, and he doesn't answer, chances are, he will call you back when you're ready. But if you don't call at all, you might both just be sitting there waiting...

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You know, I've wondered the same thing. I have no reason to believe he's ever recorded us but I've thought about it. I'm even afraid to talk about him with my Mom just in the living room because he's been known to sneak up to our house in the dark and stand outside and listen.

As for my bf...he's not afraid to call like I am, I just spoiled him. Now he sort of has to call...because what he did (and has done in the past) cut so deep that I'm really fucked up right now, just dialing his number gives me an anxiety attack now.

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"Under the hardness of her facade a woman's heart is still beating."

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Quote: from Just Waiting Here at 4:50 pm on July 14, 2008

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I've had problems with phones like that.  My dad wouldn't pick up the phone and listen.  He would record phone conversations.  That's not paranoia speaking, it's a known fact.  He's also told me outright that he could watch EVERY move I made on the computer.  I don't live with him any more, he only did it as a form of protecting me... but still.  It's very scary, and even now I sometimes wonder if a phone that he doesn't even know exists is tapped by him.  It's hard to shake the fear.  

 In terms of your boyfriend... it's scary sometimes... but sometimes he's just on the other end waiting for you to call, and just hoping that you will.  Someone has to make the first step.  If you call him, and he doesn't answer, chances are, he will call you back when you're ready.  But if you don't call at all, you might both just be sitting there waiting...

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You know, I've wondered the same thing. I have no reason to believe he's ever recorded us but I've thought about it. I'm even afraid to talk about him with my Mom just in the living room because he's been known to sneak up to our house in the dark and stand outside and listen.

As for my bf...he's not afraid to call like I am, I just spoiled him. Now he sort of has to call...because what he did (and has done in the past) cut so deep that I'm really fucked up right now, just dialing his number gives me an anxiety attack now.

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Yeah, some things can really affect you.  My dad wanted to just monitor what I was doing (I'm so far from the party type, drug type, alcohol type, etc... that it's not even necessary).  But from there, then I would worry... what if there are cameras all around the house?  I would change in a corner in my room, and wouldn't show anything for some time.  I KNEW nothing was there, I KNEW my dad would NEVER do that.  But the fear sets in you deeply.  For the LONGEST time I thought people could read my mind.  If they were in teh same room as me, I had trouble thinking certain things.  I started getting better, and after a while, as long as they weren't closer than 3 feet or so, I wouldn't be worried... now I don't worry at all...

It sets in, but with time, you build it back up and it's not scary any more.  Try and pick up the phone and call him, and see how nothing happened.  Let yourself know that sometimes you get in little arguments, but then things are back to how they were :).  And if you let him know how much it hurt you, then you know it won't happen again.  I told my boyfriend that he should NEVER just hang up on me like that and run away.  And he did it once... he was thinking about suicide and he hung up and wouldn't answer the calls.  I called him non-stop for about 15 minutes, then just sat there and waited....  I was long distance... I couldn't even go see him... I was crying so badly... I don't think he'll ever do something like that again... lol.

We live we learn :).  Just try your best to remind yourself that only once something has happened, but all other times?  It's been good :).  And after a while, the fear will probably start easing up :).

I called him today after work (like he'd asked me to) and he didn't pick up but he called back. I was eating so I said I'd call him back and then Dad wanted the phone so I asked him to call back in a few minutes. He did and said he was going out with his sister and brothers which made me feel a little better...I like that he thought to tell me where he'd be...because he didn't last time, that's partly what started the fight we had (he was out with a few girls, one of which liked/likes him)...so now maybe he's thinking a little more... I've been feeling really anxious today, though, so I think I'm going to talk to him, tell him I'm still a little freaked out.

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"Under the hardness of her facade a woman's heart is still beating."

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I'm trying to get over it but I think my anxiety disorder is making it even harder. Stuff like this cuts really deeply and it's hard to get over it.

I called him today after work (like he'd asked me to) and he didn't pick up but he called back. I was eating so I said I'd call him back and then Dad wanted the phone so I asked him to call back in a few minutes. He did and said he was going out with his sister and brothers which made me feel a little better...I like that he thought to tell me where he'd be...because he didn't last time, that's partly what started the fight we had (he was out with a few girls, one of which liked/likes him)...so now maybe he's thinking a little more... I've been feeling really anxious today, though, so I think I'm going to talk to him, tell him I'm still a little freaked out.

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Yeah... for me, I'm always worried that my boyfriend is dead.  I'm always terrified that he'll get in accident, or something will happen.  And so many times, he'll tell me he's coming over, and it should take 15 minutes.  But it takes him an hour because he decides to shower, he doesn't leave immediately, or something.  And I always panic... makes me so worried.  But he's more conscious of it now.  He still forgets often, and he gets mad at me for getting mad at him... but that's life I guess.  I've gotten a bit better with time, and as I understand my boyfriend more and more, I get less nervous :).