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  LiveWire / College Forums / College Dating & Relationships / Viewing Topic

When can a couple move in together?
Is it too soon?
Replies: 11Last Post July 19, 2008 11:22am by Anonymous
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( Anonymous )

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*Cross-posted in the teen forums*

So, my boyfriend and I are both going into our 2nd year of college at the same school.
He's my first boyfriend ever, and we've been dating for almost a year.
This year is our last year living in the dorms, so for our junior year we're going to live in apartments probably.
He's been living 1 floor below me all this time, and it's really nice because I have, like, easy access, you know?
So I kind of want to ask him if he wants to get an apartment with me. By then we'll have been dating for 2 full years, and we'll be 20 years old. I'm pretty much positive we won't break up before then, also. And it would probably be cheaper too because we'd be able to just get a 1 bedroom apartment and split the cost.

BUT.

Thinking about it kind of scares the crap out of me, lol. I mean, we've never had a fight yet, and I know it's bound to happen sooner or later, but I prefer to have it later! And when couples move in together they're around each other so much that that's when problems start to come out. And I don't know if 2 years' experience is enough for us to make it. However, it probably helps that we have basically been living together, in the same dorm, and spent a lot of our time together, and have still never fought.

Also, what if I ask him and he doesn't want to? I don't want him to think I'm like too clingy or anything.

I don't know... I wasn't going to even think about this seriously until like October, when housing registration begins, but he's been talking about how his dad might buy a house for him and his friends to rent out and that would ruin the possibility of this... should I talk to him about it or not? How can I word it so I don't sound like a desperate clingy inexperienced girl? Is this even a good idea??

Thanks!

Post edited at 5:26 pm on July 12, 2008 by Anonymous


5:24 pm on July 12, 2008
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ijustdontknow

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You JUST posted this TWO fucken seconds ago....

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5:25 pm on July 12, 2008 | Joined: Mar. 2008 | Days Active: 295
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Baron Samedi


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You literally posted this 1 minute ago.

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5:25 pm on July 12, 2008 | Joined: Mar. 2008 | Days Active: 440
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jeezandcrackers


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i think its a great idea, i have no idea how ur gonna word it, but you better talk to him b4 he makes plans.

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5:26 pm on July 12, 2008 | Joined: Nov. 2006 | Days Active: 52
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Power of Ten

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My girlfriend and I decided that we would go to NYC together and find an apartment to live in. Its sort of a head of things since we still have a year more to go before we graduate high school but I we both have the grades to get in and I have to take the SAT in September. Im hoping to get at least a 2100 so that I will have a good chance.

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DarkSunshine


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I think you should talk about it. My boyfriend and I have talked about it ( not to seriously) and were not even out of high school yet ( well I could be but i'm going back for an extra year from my own choice) Just bring it up casually, see what he says and if he seems interested ask him if he really wants to and tell him your plans if you have any. You have been going out for two years. i think you'll be fine.

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TigressaLynnMae


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If you have to question it, I would think you're not ready for it.

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nik1


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This was an option that my gf and I had but we chose not to because of the potential image problem it would have with our parents.  Money was not an issue so she has her one bedroom apartment and I have mine.  We already are making plans for marriage so I think our decision is the best.  

5:33 am on July 14, 2008 | Joined: July 2007 | Days Active: 680
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wingedmisery


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my girlfriend and I are thinking about moving in together when we'll have been together for 9 months, I don't think 2 years is too soon at all.

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RunLola


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I do not think a couple should move in together until they are married.

8:45 pm on July 18, 2008 | Joined: Sep. 2007 | Days Active: 38
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Evolutionism


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I think it's a bad idea. If you aren't comfortable enough to talk with him about it, have never had a fight (which is often a bad thing because it usually denotes a lack of communication in the relationship; emphasis on usually), and your boyfriend doesn't want to move in together, then I don't think you two are ready.

I would give it another year and see if you are ready to move in together for your senior year.


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Evolutionism
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10:07 am on July 19, 2008 | Joined: July 2008 | Days Active: 88
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( Anonymous )

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Quote: from Evolutionism at 1:07 pm on July 19, 2008

I think it's a bad idea. If you aren't comfortable enough to talk with him about it, have never had a fight (which is often a bad thing because it usually denotes a lack of communication in the relationship; emphasis on usually), and your boyfriend doesn't want to move in together, then I don't think you two are ready.

I would give it another year and see if you are ready to move in together for your senior year.


I never said he doesn't want to, and I never said I'm not comfortable enough to talk to him.
Obviously I have to talk to him about it if we're going to move in together haha, I'm not just gonna like move his stuff and let him know later
I don't know if he wants to because I haven't talked to him yet.
I'm just a little nervous that if I say something and he doesn't want to, he would, like... think of me differently I guess?  I don't know, I guess I'm just a little afraid he might think I'm clingy or something.
And as for the fight thing, I agree that fights generally bring couples together in the long run, but it's not that we don't talk; it's just... what would we even fight about??  lol, I just can't even think of anything I would be mad at him for, you know?

Oh, and RunLola, I don't believe that a couple should get married until after they have lived together.  Marriage brings in a whole new set of things for a couple to work out, and the last thing they need is to also have to get used to living with each other!  It's too much at once.


11:22 am on July 19, 2008
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