But if you're planning (You've sat down and said, "Okay, we're going to try to have a kid right now.) to have a kid with a boyfriend and/or girlfriend, why don't you just get married? I mean, and you don't have to have some big fancy wedding either, just get married.

As I said earlier, if you're planning on having a kid with a boyfriend or girlfriend, why not have a kid with husband or wife?

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"I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me" - Maya Angelou

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What benefits do you get from being in a marriage when having a child?

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A whole host of extra legal rights?

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When they leave me, they're all smiles.
When they leave you, they're in tears.

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What benefits do you get from being in a marriage when having a child?

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It's not about benefits it's a moral thing.  That's why this world has gone down the drain, becuase people are more concerned about "benefits" rather then what's right.

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God doesn't have to know what you are going to do,
He already knows what you have done tomorrow.

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Quote: from Lepperking at 11:51 pm on July 15, 2008

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What benefits do you get from being in a marriage when having a child?

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A whole host of extra legal rights?

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Plus, it's more of a commitment. You can't just walk out easily, there are more steps to leaving.

And with jobs, your spouse can share your health benefits. There's no issue with last name for your kid. Less complication.

And that's how people USED to do it back in the olden times.

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"I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me" - Maya Angelou

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i do agree
but sometimes its easier to stay as bf and gf
marriage is really big and involves alot of papers and preperation

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"really big an involves a lot of papers and preperation"

And what does a kid involve? A child is a being that you take care of for life.  It takes a lot more than signing some papers.

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"I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me" - Maya Angelou

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Quote: from Lepperking at 11:51 pm on July 15, 2008

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What benefits do you get from being in a marriage when having a child?

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A whole host of extra legal rights?

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Then again, I do want to get married. Many people simply don't want to get married. Perhaps I only think this because I do find marriage to be a lovely idea and I think it would be something I would enjoy doing someday.

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So when you're happy (Hurray!), or sad (Aw!),
Or frightened (Eeek!), or mad (Rats!)
An interjection starts a sentence right.

When I decided to start trying for another baby, I got married first.  I wanted a "normal" family, and it was mainly because I didn't want to deal with confusion and didn't want to hear crap from my family.  It seemed like a logical step to me.  Obviously marriage isn't a guarantee to staying together, though, because we're getting divorced.  

He's a good man, and I love him, but he needs to have his own biological child, and due to unfortunate circumstances, I decided I couldn't handle trying again.  Had this happened before we got married, we wouldn't be dealing with the mess of divorce right now.  I suppose you could say we should have waited to get married until we were completely sure about everything, but this was something that never would have come up without first trying for a baby.

For those who want to get married, by all means, go for it, but I can completely understand why someone would decide against it.  Marriage can really complicate matters, and it doesn't really solidify the relationship.  If the relationship ends, it only makes things more difficult, and not everyone wants to deal with that.

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I am not procrastinating.  I am multislacking.