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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Short Stories & Poetry / Viewing Topic

A few people I'm not
Replies: 3Last Post Aug. 28 3:26pm by Ad libitum
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( Ad libitum )


Connoisseur
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[A poem of one. Constructive criticism please!]

Let me entice you to the rock pools,
Where legends of lost loves will be basking on the rocks.
Let us talk about lost memories,
And listen to the never played symphonies.
Come closer and catch my eye,
Whilst conversation fades, washed away with the tides.

Close those glistening green eyes,
And think of someone you physically admire.
On the count of three I will appear by your side,
And on opening those green eyes you shall see someone you physically despise.

I have no courage to chance feelings without a care,
If you ask why I felt what I did, I will blame it on a dare.


It's just about someone I used to like called Laura. There are influences of Morrissey and Tracey Thorn included in it.


-------
''You have the most marvelous youth, and youth is
the one thing worth having!'' - Oscar Wilde-


3:24 pm on Aug. 28, 2008 | Joined Feb. 2008 | 214 Days Active
Join to learn more about Ad libitum England, United Kingdom | Lesbian Female | 3780 Posts | 6616 Points
californication


Enlightened One

Patron
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It isn't bad, but I'm not a huge fan

-------
Anywhere you go let me go too -
Hide your face so the world will never find you
CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES
THIS IS MY BOOK REPORT

3:25 pm on Aug. 28, 2008 | Joined May 2007 | 238 Days Active
Join to learn more about californication Madagascar | Asexual | 11931 Posts | 15584 Points
YellowDuckie


Omnipotent One

Patron
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I like it a lot.

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Like a runaway

3:25 pm on Aug. 28, 2008 | Joined July 2007 | 209 Days Active
Join to learn more about YellowDuckie Iowa, United States | Bi-curious | 13634 Posts | 17652 Points
( Ad libitum )


Connoisseur
Reply
Quote: from californication at 11:25 pm on Aug. 28, 2008

It isn't bad, but I'm not a huge fan

What parts don't you like?

-------
''You have the most marvelous youth, and youth is
the one thing worth having!'' - Oscar Wilde-


3:26 pm on Aug. 28, 2008 | Joined Feb. 2008 | 214 Days Active
Join to learn more about Ad libitum England, United Kingdom | Lesbian Female | 3780 Posts | 6616 Points
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