Goodbye LiveWire, never thought I would say this. -- LiveWire Teen Forums

I never thought I would be saying this, but I am leaving LiveWire for a while. 3 Months to be precise. As some of you already know, I was diagnosed with a disease back in July of 2007, and I was told by Doctor's that I wouldn't make it past Christmas, and then once again past Summer. I proved them wrong I guess because I am still here. Although I have had quite a few scares by having to stay for periods of time in the Hospital (2 weeks at most) and being in a coma etc... it wasn't fun, I hated it. I've had so many people tested to see if they were a match for me, and I've probably gone though little over 300 people and it seemed for the longest time that I would never find a match, because I kept getting negatives, and at one point I just completely gave up and decided that I would not longer continue looking for a donor, because all it was was just both stressful, and it hurt everyone by the news each time.
I guess the hardest part is going to be saying goodbye to my fiancee Julie at the airport, and to my mom and aunt, and really everyone for the most part. I am extremely close to my mom (yes, I am a moms boy, but not the type that is bad) and the longest we've been apart is really, 2 weeks. Julie cannot come with me because she is starting school up again (College,) and plus dad wants her to stay with mom and the baby, same with me, but I don't know how we will say goodbye, it won't be easy I know. lol My Aunt was joking and saying to my mom "they will probably not let go of each other (I am beginning to think the same thing.)
Scared? I am real scared to be honest. I mean, I will be flying to Seattle, Washington at 6:30 a.m. today (not even 4 hours from now.) We are leaving for the airport here in an hour, I am all packed and ready to go, I have everything. I am scared for several reasons, I have never flown before, so I am nervous about that seeing as I am scared of heights lol. I am also scared to spend 3 months in a Hospital, it will not be fun. I am scared of the treatment, and the side effects expected from it. I don't know, I am grateful and happy to have finally found a donor, but yet at the same time I wish I never did find one (pretty bad saying that, I know) because I am just... scared of everything. I thought I was strong, but it's just.. I don't know... "fear" I guess of the outcome and what is to be expected and what I will go through etc...
It hasn't hit me yet that I am about to leave here in an hour for the airport and will fly with my dad to Seattle, Washington. I guess it's because I am so used to bad news that this is just too much of a shock for me to absorb, and to fully accept and face. I guess once I reach the airport at the terminal, and it's time to say goodbye is when it will hit me. Of course my fiancee will make me cry most likely because she's been teary eyed all day because she knows what is to come, etc... right now she is with mom so I am on LiveWire just making this topic. We've spent the entire day together so hopefully she will be okay after I leave. lol I've packed so many photo albums that I had to actually get a separate carry on to fit them all in.
I guess I should get going now, I know the rules of arriving at the airport at least 2 - 3 hours early for security etc... but it's not a long drive to the airport. Arghh... so nervous about the flight, I am literally just jittery right now thinking that here in 4 hours I will be thousands of feet up into the air.

Farewell LiveWire, I will be back in December, unless I can somehow use the internet in my room (if they have WiFi, which I am hoping for the least.) But if not, that is okay, I can live. Goodbye for now.

Oh...

* the real anti christ, don't kill anyone while I am gone, at least wait till I get back so I can see it happening, it's not fair damn it! Oh, btw, you will always be my little sexpot hahhaaa."

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Rest in peace to my best friend Joshua of 18 years, born Nov. 20, 1986,
passed away Jan. 14, 2008. I'll see u soon in Heaven, love you.
RIP to my angel Julia, born June 10th 1987
passed away July 30th, 2009. I'll always love you my angel

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