5 Things I Now Know About SI that I wish I knew 4 Years Ago -- LiveWire Teen Forums

So, the other day I was kind of reflecting on my high school years, most of which were marked with a struggle with depression and frequent bouts of self injury (something that I have not done in a full year), and I was able to kind of put my past into perspective.

Maybe this will get read, maybe it won't.....but my hope is that it helps at least one person struggling with SI at the time at least to shed a new light on to things.

5 Things I Now Know About SI that I wish I knew 4 Years Ago

1. Those scars aren't going to go away
Am I superficial for putting this first? Maybe. But the scars I have left from SI are probably my biggest reminder of it. I catch them out of the corner of my eye all the time, and it takes me back to it. To have such visual evidence of something like that is NOT something you want for the rest of your life. I know that when you are in that state of mind, the scars can be almost appealling, to an extent. They are a visual reminder of how you feel. But you will not always feel like that, believe it or not. Depression is treatable, and when it's done and over with, you don't want to be left with that.
Additionally, other people will recognize that for the rest of your life. With the rise in self-injury, there is also a rise in awareness. I catch people staring at the scars and I know what they're thinking. I want to stop them and tell them that I don't do it anymore, but that's just not something you bring up. I'm sure most of you don't forever want you past of depression stamped on your forehead, so think about what you're doing when you mark yourself up permanently.

2. Self injury solves nothing
Does it relieve a lot of the emotions you are feeling at the time? Yes, absolutely. Does it actually solve the problem? No, it makes it worse.
I wish I could say I knew this at the time, and maybe I did....but I didn't fully understand it. Self injury is pointless. It is. I'm sorry, flame if you want but there is no long term point to it, plain and simple.

3. Doctors/therapists don't think less of you for self injury
For two years straight, I tried to stop on my own. I refused to tell anyone about it, because I was embarassed and thought that people would think less of me. After two years of continuously relapsing, I finally told my doctor. Once I did that, I permanently quit in a matter of months and have not since.
It is 1000x easier to stop when you aren't alone. Even if it's just a friend who can help you through it, it's so much easier when you know someone else is counting on you too.

4. Self injury is actually dangerous
Does this seem like the most obvious thing in the whole world? Yes....it really is. But for some reason, at the time I seemed to think of it as only an emotional behavior, and not a physical one. Going back, I am so unbelievably grateful that I never hit a major artery, or never got a serious infection. Self injury IS destructive to your body. You are playing Russian Roullette. Regardless of what you decide to do, be careful. Understand that this is your body, and it is by no means invincible.

5. You can't just treat SI. You have to treat the reasons behind it
Most happy people don't just pick up a blade and go to town on their wrist. If you treat the underlying issue while treating the SI, it is a whole lot easier to stop than if you just try to stop SI and still feel horrible.
Easy as that.

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