You suck. I facetiously typed "god i hate myself" into google to make fun of my friend. We're trashed. Buddha says the hardest thing for a human to do is to stop thinking, and what you need to do is to stop your teenage angst. Dont feel proud and continue feeling the same way and doing the same thing in an attempt to pretend what you are doing isnt wrong. Disassociate yourself from the negative feelings you have about yourself. They are not yours. You love yourself because you have to. That is the only thing that feels good to humans. And dont go crying to god about how pathetic you are because he cannot indulge you. If that were true then he would be rewarding stupidity.
It hurts when someone else says you suck. But when you say it its ok?
Nope, it hurt worse. And other people wont have sympathy for you just because you dont like yourself. The awful truth is that they will avoid you.
I shouldnt have said that you suck. Making your strife public is ok. Were all doing the best we can. Good luck!
P.S. tell your boyfriend he is a pussy. by promising to cut himself if you do he makes it seem ok. It sounds to another male like he isnt really looking out for you very much. Please belive me when i say that the normal male response to this situation would be to lecture you, not to make a girlie promise to do the wrong thing too.
Good Luck! God i wish i listened to people when i was younger. Or now. But its so hard to.