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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Humor & Jokes / Viewing Topic

THIS JOKE IS FUNNY
sorry for the caps
Replies: 15Last Post July 18, 2008 9:41am by whrocky5092
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( kdog )


Dairy Product Addict
Reply
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"


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i wanted freedom, bound and restricted, i tired to give you up
but im addicted.


10:20 pm on July 17, 2008 | Joined: Dec. 2005 | Days Active: 362
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ellex4xlove


Advisor
Reply
lololol

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ENDY SMIZ
10.26.07.

10:20 pm on July 17, 2008 | Joined: July 2008 | Days Active: 11
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Aratal


Connoisseur
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Hahaha. The husband sounds like an asshole.

10:21 pm on July 17, 2008 | Joined: July 2008 | Days Active: 175
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JuggaletteBaby


Connoisseur
Reply
haha.
i've heard it but i still love it =]

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MushroomSatsujin is my bestest friend =]

10:21 pm on July 17, 2008 | Joined: May 2008 | Days Active: 143
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applebee33


Executive
Reply
bahahahahahahaha

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"Sometimes we love people so much that we have to be numb to it.
Because if we actually felt how much we love them, it would kill us."

10:21 pm on July 17, 2008 | Joined: Nov. 2007 | Days Active: 203
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blufindr


Asynchronous duality

Patron
Reply
Heard it. Fucking awesome.

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Two hearts, beating as one;
Keeping time
Until they are no longer
Apart

10:23 pm on July 17, 2008 | Joined: April 2008 | Days Active: 316
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pclueless92


Connoisseur
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LMAO =]

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Happiness, coming and going.   2.13.093

10:23 pm on July 17, 2008 | Joined: July 2008 | Days Active: 123
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Dazigirl


Visionary

Patron
Support Leader
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ROFLLMFAO!

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What if I fell to the floor
Couldn't take all this anymore
What would you do?

10:23 pm on July 17, 2008 | Joined: June 2008 | Days Active: 241
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sdkarr


Soothsayer

Patron
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Quote: from Aratal at 10:21 pm on July 17, 2008

The husband sounds like an asshole.

agreed. what guy would let someone rape his wife


but that is funny

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The Americans will always do the right thing...
after they've exhausted all the alternatives.

I get by with a little help from my friends.


10:25 pm on July 17, 2008 | Joined: Nov. 2007 | Days Active: 341
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Alabamarama


Visionary

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Ahaha good one

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Sexual innuendo.

10:25 pm on July 17, 2008 | Joined: July 2008 | Days Active: 106
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necronomicon servant


Soothsayer
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Quote: from Aratal at 10:21 pm on July 17, 2008

Hahaha. The husband sounds like an asshole.

Hahahahaha hell yea he is!

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Who am I?
What am I?

10:27 pm on July 17, 2008 | Joined: May 2008 | Days Active: 233
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necronomicon servant


Soothsayer
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Hahahahaha damn that was funny!

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Who am I?
What am I?

10:27 pm on July 17, 2008 | Joined: May 2008 | Days Active: 233
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carracer


Soothsayer
Reply
Plan Backfired eh?
Funny stuff.

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The world is only as sweet as you make it and only as terrible as you see it

10:29 pm on July 17, 2008 | Joined: Dec. 2007 | Days Active: 264
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jujube 91


Professional
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Hahaha, that is pretty funny.

10:29 pm on July 17, 2008 | Joined: June 2008 | Days Active: 179
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Human Nature


Dairy Product Addict
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Haha, nice

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Hearts stop and seize, making love in the weather,
Making moves together, staying close forever.

10:33 pm on July 17, 2008 | Joined: July 2008 | Days Active: 18
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