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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / The Serious Forum / Viewing Topic

Child Psychologists looky looky
Replies: 3Last Post July 19 9:39am by Arguia
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( ManicD )


Enlightened One

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ok, i have a nephew and everyone is getting to our wits end controlling him. hes been brought up as well as he could be, always taught right from wrong, not to fight, not to swear, to do what his mum tells him etc etc.

Hes 4 years old and going to primary school each day now.

recently hes starting becoming very hard to control, for no reason at all he'll get upset and start hitting his mum, swearing at her and slamming doors ect.

now, swearing has always been met with washing his mouth out with soap, untill all teh "dirty" words are gone. effective up untill now.

naughty behaviour has been punished with, smacking, naughty step, sent to room, removal of toys, removal of TV privilidge etc etc

We've also tried, smily face charts to earn sweets etc for him and his sister, spending time at nan's for dinner and playing with uncle(me) which he really enjoys.

This is currently having no effect what so ever. We cant find what has triggered this change in behaviour, his school teachers claim nothing has happened there. certianly nothign has happened at home. and his mood changes for no reason.

It ALWAYS occurs when his dad is at work, his dad works fairly long hours but has to to pay the bills, and he works long distance, but is home and sees the kids every day. His dad spending more time at home is not really an option.

Today, he started punching and swearing etc before school and so his nan picked him up and he was brought back to nan's house where hes had no privilidges, no toys, no tv, hes been allowed to read and practice writing (e.g. educational things). He was told the reason nan picked him up was because mummy didnt want him at home if he was gonna be nasty. He seemed to understand this to a degree and he spent his time deciding and writing a sorry letter to his mum.

he is epeliptic, and on medication that previously made him misbehave, but his medication has not changed and he has. We are looking to go back to his doctor and talk to them in case the doseage needs to be changed.

Any ideas, on ingenious punishment/reward systems, he seems to be getting angry about something, are there any techniques for him to deal with said anger, with older people i would suggest writing diarys, going for walks etc but hes too young.
Also any ideas on finding the root of teh issue would be good, was thinking of possibly doing a word assocition game with him, see what that turns up to key words, school, home, teacher, mummy, etc etc mixed in with random words.

ok, i'll leave it at that, thanks in advance for a)reading this lot and b) any help you can give

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I touched the sky, then gave it away to make the world a lil better
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Not allowed to say lesbian anymore, Its women in comfortable shoes


5:11 pm on July 17, 2008 | Joined Jan. 2006 | 728 Days Active
Join to learn more about ManicD England, United Kingdom | Lesbian Male | 6421 Posts | 16616 Points
Arguia


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Have you tried totally ignoring him when he starts acting up? Give him no intention if he starts acting up, just ignore him until he has calmed down and then talk to him/spend time with him. If he can't be left on his own when he is acting up, stand in the room with him and don't look at him at all.

Try to praise him for all his good behaviour and ignore the bad... the idea here being that if he realises that he only gets attention when he behaves well and that bad behaviour means he is ignored he will behave better.

I know this approach has worked for a couple of the young people I work with, so it might be worth a try.

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Yes, we know who you are.

Greater than a poet's fame
A little grave that has no name.


10:01 am on July 18, 2008 | Joined Oct. 2005 | 313 Days Active
Join to learn more about Arguia England, United Kingdom | Label Free Female | 4101 Posts | 7582 Points
( ManicD )


Enlightened One

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Quote: from Arguia at 6:01 pm on July 18, 2008

Have you tried totally ignoring him when he starts acting up? Give him no intention if he starts acting up, just ignore him until he has calmed down and then talk to him/spend time with him. If he can't be left on his own when he is acting up, stand in the room with him and don't look at him at all.  

Try to praise him for all his good behaviour and ignore the bad... the idea here being that if he realises that he only gets attention when he behaves well and that bad behaviour means he is ignored he will behave better.

I know this approach has worked for a couple of the young people I work with, so it might be worth a try.


This approach has been tried before for other things but in this case hes actively hitting and throwing things around, its not practical to ignore him like that

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I touched the sky, then gave it away to make the world a lil better
LiveWire History Group
Not allowed to say lesbian anymore, Its women in comfortable shoes


11:49 am on July 18, 2008 | Joined Jan. 2006 | 728 Days Active
Join to learn more about ManicD England, United Kingdom | Lesbian Male | 6421 Posts | 16616 Points
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Quote: from ManicD at 7:49 pm on July 18, 2008

Quote: from Arguia at 6:01 pm on July 18, 2008

Have you tried totally ignoring him when he starts acting up? Give him no intention if he starts acting up, just ignore him until he has calmed down and then talk to him/spend time with him. If he can't be left on his own when he is acting up, stand in the room with him and don't look at him at all.  

 Try to praise him for all his good behaviour and ignore the bad... the idea here being that if he realises that he only gets attention when he behaves well and that bad behaviour means he is ignored he will behave better.  

 I know this approach has worked for a couple of the young people I work with, so it might be worth a try.


This approach has been tried before for other things but in this case hes actively hitting and throwing things around, its not practical to ignore him like that


I only mentioned as I know it has worked for people I know (including when the young people have been throwing things around).

Sorry I couldn't help more.

-------
Yes, we know who you are.

Greater than a poet's fame
A little grave that has no name.


9:39 am on July 19, 2008 | Joined Oct. 2005 | 313 Days Active
Join to learn more about Arguia England, United Kingdom | Label Free Female | 4101 Posts | 7582 Points
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