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  LiveWire / College Forums / Emotional Support / Viewing Topic

I am just so tired
Replies: 18Last Post July 21, 2008 10:30pm by lingerie gurl
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I am stuck at home right now. I am disabled because I blew my knee out. I am home alone from 8 am. to 4 p.m. then from 5 p.m. to 12 a.m. because my fiance goes to school and work.
I cook, I clean, and I wash. I didn't have enough money to wash my own clothes so I just washed his. So, I have to go another week with no clean clothes. I get checks from the government but I give them to my fiance because he is the one paying the majority of the bills. So, I never have cash. I have to ask him for money.
I don't care about money. I just ask that the one hour we have together, he spend it with me. He is either on the phone or IMing his friends. I have no human contact. And he has the car because he goes to work and school. So, I have no way to see my friends. My friends would visit me, but they live 2 hours away. My family? They are out of the picture.  
I just want him to talk to me, cuddle with me, show me some type of love.  
I am tired of being alone. I am tired of this. I have anxiety, depression, and PTSD. My therapist said it is a horrible idea to be left alone for so long.
He can't sleep in the bedroom with me. He says he gets claustrophobic. So, I have to sleep alone in the bedroom while he sleeps on the couch in the livingroom.  
He bought me a kitten so I wouldn't so alone. WHich I apprepriate because I love him dearly, but it doesn't replace him. He has put a fear in me. I live near a mall and he told me how many car break ins there were, how many girls were raped, and so on. So I don't even want to leave me apartment.  

I am just so sad and alone. I just want him to be around with me. This is the last week he has to go to school, and he swears he will be better. But I doubt it. I told him how I feel, and he says that I am just over dramatic. I told him I wished he knew how I felt, how hard it was. But he didn't care.

I am just so sad.

Post edited at 5:53 pm on July 21, 2008 by lingerie gurl

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I am not racist, I hate everyone equally.


5:48 pm on July 21, 2008 | Joined: Jan. 2006 | Days Active: 500
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Reefer


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I love your avi. And. Therapist?

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.R.I.P. [Simon] Monday, June 09, 2008
.R.I.P. [Shadow] Wednesday-Thursday July 15-16 2009
PARDONED February 19, 2009 Baby!!

5:50 pm on July 21, 2008 | Joined: May 2008 | Days Active: 201
Join to learn more about Reefer Missouri, United States | Male | Posts: 6,608 | Points: 10,211
4est


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Sounds like you're in a terrible relationship.

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In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed.

You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.

5:51 pm on July 21, 2008 | Joined: July 2005 | Days Active: 979
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zamrambo


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Not a fun situation.  Maybe try meeting new people around you?

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6.21.08

5:51 pm on July 21, 2008 | Joined: Nov. 2007 | Days Active: 519
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( lingerie gurl )


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Quote: from Reefer at 5:50 pm on July 21, 2008

I love your avi. And. Therapist?


I am going to therapy.

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I am not racist, I hate everyone equally.


5:51 pm on July 21, 2008 | Joined: Jan. 2006 | Days Active: 500
Join to learn more about lingerie gurl California, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 11,622 | Points: 18,346
UpYourBum


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Your Fiance goes to school and work?

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'Loose lips may sink ships, But honesty's forever.'

5:52 pm on July 21, 2008 | Joined: Dec. 2007 | Days Active: 73
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Lally


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You should tell him what you just told us.

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♥ Lally
♥ Antigen is my official LW Husband ♥

5:53 pm on July 21, 2008 | Joined: Dec. 2007 | Days Active: 355
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sdkarr


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Ah, I'm so sorry. Have you talked to your boyfriend about how you are feeling and what you are going through??

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The Americans will always do the right thing...
after they've exhausted all the alternatives.

I get by with a little help from my friends.

5:53 pm on July 21, 2008 | Joined: Nov. 2007 | Days Active: 364
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xwhylovewhyhatex


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Quote: from 4est at 5:51 pm on July 21, 2008

Sounds like you're in a terrible relationship.

I think it sounds like that too.


5:53 pm on July 21, 2008 | Joined: Jan. 2008 | Days Active: 33
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I have told him. I told him right now. Amd its like he doesn't care, he says I am having one of my swings.

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I am not racist, I hate everyone equally.

5:54 pm on July 21, 2008 | Joined: Jan. 2006 | Days Active: 500
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silverbullets


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why dont you try and find a job. it would get you out of the house.

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"Brave is knowing that tomorrow isn't a bright and happy future."

5:55 pm on July 21, 2008 | Joined: Mar. 2006 | Days Active: 315
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porcelain


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I don't really know what I could possibly say to make it better, I don't have much advice either... seeing as how you've already talked to him.

Have you thought of maybe taking some online classes? Or doing something to atleast stimulate your mind so you don't feel like you're just sitting there wasting time?

I can't possibly imagine how hard that would be, and I do sincerely hope he keeps his promise of spending more time with you once school is out.

PM me if you ever need to talk.

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No life ain't always beautiful,
tears will fall sometimes.
Life ain't always beautiful,
but it's a beautiful ride.


5:55 pm on July 21, 2008 | Joined: Aug. 2006 | Days Active: 355
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( lingerie gurl )


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I am taking online courses with a private university, but it doesn't replace human contact.

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I am not racist, I hate everyone equally.

5:57 pm on July 21, 2008 | Joined: Jan. 2006 | Days Active: 500
Join to learn more about lingerie gurl California, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 11,622 | Points: 18,346
BOOM BOOM BOOMx3


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that sucks, i am so sorry.
start some sort of project, get a job.
you need to find more of a concrete purpose.

5:57 pm on July 21, 2008 | Joined: Jan. 2008 | Days Active: 138
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branflakes



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i don't mean to sound insensitive but can't you get crutches or something?

6:00 pm on July 21, 2008 | Joined: Jan. 2007 | Days Active: 508
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