Quote: from Anonymous at 4:23 pm on July 18, 2008
Quote: from Just Waiting Here at 7:21 pm on July 18, 2008
Quote: from Anonymous at 4:07 pm on July 18, 2008
I know if I was to try anything I would have to atleast wait tell see was 16 that way it could be consentual but thats not important I just want to be with her but I'm in one state and shes in a nother 
I take it this is an online, long distance dating thing?
kinda but I told her I would go greyhound to see her
Haha, this is going to be long...
Alright, first off, a bit about myself. I met my boyfriend online, he lived somewhere else, I started dating him. It was long distance, I was 17, he was 21. Now, I'm still dating him today, however, that was because after 9 months, I moved out, somewhere, and he moved there too. We almost broke apart then, distance is hard, greyhounding or not.
I want you to really consider this. I'm going to list some things, and this is from my own personal experience.
First of all... we got in many fights. It was really stressful just as ANY long distance is stressful. It's hard to explain just how much it pains you when you can't see someone that you care for so often.
2. My boyfriend would often times start getting very depressed that I never seemed to make an effort. He took a 20 hour greyhound bus to visit me, and yet, I never visited him. Not only did I not have the money (I couldn't get a job for my own reasons and the girl you like is too young), but I also had parents, who would NEVER let me go.
3. The one time he did buy me a ticket and I tried to go, my mom threatened to call the police on my boyfriend. 17 and 21... only 4 years. 14 to 22... you really think her parents are going to like that?
4. Because of his age, he was ready to move in somewhere. He wanted to live with me not too long after. He was older, he was ready for a big commitment. I was still getting ready to go to college. I ALMOST stupidly gave up the chance of going to a good school for this relationship. If you care for the girl, that's the last thing you want to see. You don't want to see her give up opportunities in her life for a long distance relationship... We worked it out, again because my boyfriend moved where I moved.
5. When my boyfriend moved, his savings depleted quickly. Suddenly, his job cut his hours in half... on top of bills and rent that caused problems. So just saying that you'll move to where she is is no good. Even to this day I sometimes cry because I worry I ruined his life, because he made a 'sacrifice' for me.
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Those are just some of the reasons. It's hard, it was very hard. He almost committed suicide one day, and I can't tell you the pain of not being able to help someone you care about because of distance or age. It rips you to pieces sometimes,... and other days, I wondered why I bothered... why was it worth it? It caused so much trouble for both of us... we couldn't have a normal relationship, and we could barely see each other... Even if you DO go see her by greyhound, you'll have to pay for someplace to stay. You think her parents will let you stay with her? You think her parents would let her even MEET someone on the internet? And do you think her parents would let her go out anywhere with you if she found out? When my boyfriend visited me, I had to go around school and hang out with him... but I had a car. What is she going to do...?
There's a lot of things I don't think you've really considered. It may seem all great... it's been three days, and she seems like the perfect person. However? It's EASY to fall for anyone online. Because online, you aren't afraid of being judged. That immediately opens up doors for being more open and honest to each other. The reason you probably are the only guy that cares? Is because you're the only guy she's completely open up to and felt comfortable in talking to. Likewise, the same goes for you. I've talked to MANY people online, and I'm very familiar with the feeling of becoming extremely close in a very short time. And for that reason, I also know that that feeling is most often the feeling of close friends, and NOT a feeling that can hold together a relationship.
I do NOT think it's worth it. If anything, both of you are going to end up getting more hurt than either of you realize. It may seem great, you've found the perfect person, but simply put, love isn't the ONLY thing that holds together a relationship. Things change, and sometimes distance can break a relationship, stages in life can break a relationship, and stress can break a relationship.
It's better to stop it before it starts.
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