But in the past month, it's come out that he's lied to me at least two other times, the first time either being in December or last month. He either lied to me when I asked him if his neighbor at school was hitting on him or he lied to me when he told me two weeks ago that she, in all actuality, was hitting on him even though he'd said that she wasn't and that he could have "had her". So, basically, he either lied then...in order to keep me calm and keep her close...or he lied two weeks ago to hurt me...

And then he tried to hide yet another girl from me because she, too, was hitting on him just a month ago.

I tried to ask him about the first one but he refused to answer so I'm going to assume he lied back in December...just two months after we got together...I feel like our whole relationship is a lie, he's been hiding shit from me and breaking my heart ever since then and I've had enough. I don't trust him.

you deserve better than that

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Its something unpredictable but in the end its right♥

He loves you, and he's with YOU. Why ask questions that you think you know the answers to, when the answers are just going to hurt you anyways?

If you want to be in a successful relationship you need to learn to be more mature, and not so emotional about pety shit.

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No life ain't always beautiful,
tears will fall sometimes.
Life ain't always beautiful,
but it's a beautiful ride.

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There are always going to be people that are going to hit on your boyfriend. Just like there are going to be people who are going to hit on you. Why does it matter?

He loves you, and he's with YOU. Why ask questions that you think you know the answers to, when the answers are just going to hurt you anyways?

If you want to be in a successful relationship you need to learn to be more mature, and not so emotional about pety shit.

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Try telling him that. He freaks out about the same shit so I try and keep him calm. I don't hang around guys who hit on me, I don't need them, there are so many other people around that I don't need to introduce a guy into my life who will make it so damn dramatic. He's never thought that way, though, he just fucks shit up by hiding it and doing whatever he wants while bitching about the guys in my life so I can't behave the same way he does but I've had enough and I'm going to do whatever the fuck I want now with whoever the fuck I want and the moment he opens his mouth, he's going to get it.

And I mean... by saying he could have had her, it could easily be interpreted, "Why are you worrying... I could have had her, but I never even though about it, and never took her up on it."  It's the matter of whether he is 'hiding' it to protect your feelings, because he's worried you may take it the wrong way (which you may be doing right now), or hiding it because he wants to do something.

You know your boyfriend better, which of the two is it?  People sometimes lie because they want to protect others, and sometimes they lie to protect themselves.  Is he lying because he wants to cheat, or is he lying because this is EXACTLY how he DOESN'T want you to feel?

All in all, you need to talk to him.  We can't tell you whether he lied, or is lying right now.  If this bothers you, talk to him and just tell him that you just want to be honest with each other, and that you prefer him to tell you the truth about things instead of worrying about hiding them... or something.

And since he sees that it bothers you, why would he mention other girls... don't you think you would have been even more paranoid if he said, "just so you know, another girl hit on me today"... I dunno,

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Dump his ass

you deserve better than that

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Lmao, I love how this answer comes up for nearly all relationship topics, but I agree.

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Isn't it possible that he didn't think she was 'hitting on him' back then, and only recently realized that that was her intentions all along?

And I mean... by saying he could have had her, it could easily be interpreted, "Why are you worrying... I could have had her, but I never even though about it, and never took her up on it." It's the matter of whether he is 'hiding' it to protect your feelings, because he's worried you may take it the wrong way (which you may be doing right now), or hiding it because he wants to do something.

You know your boyfriend better, which of the two is it? People sometimes lie because they want to protect others, and sometimes they lie to protect themselves. Is he lying because he wants to cheat, or is he lying because this is EXACTLY how he DOESN'T want you to feel?

All in all, you need to talk to him. We can't tell you whether he lied, or is lying right now. If this bothers you, talk to him and just tell him that you just want to be honest with each other, and that you prefer him to tell you the truth about things instead of worrying about hiding them... or something.

And since he sees that it bothers you, why would he mention other girls... don't you think you would have been even more paranoid if he said, "just so you know, another girl hit on me today"... I dunno,

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I can't talk to him, I tried but he refused to answer me. And I don't know why he did it, honestly, because I don't feel like I really know him anymore. I used to think he wouldn't lie...now that's all he seems to do, lie, distort, deceive...

I think he did/does it because he's obsessed with girls, I'm not enough. He won't befriend males, he'll only insult them, talk about how horrible they are. He likes the female attention, he always picks out the flirts to cling to and it really hurts because I'd never do that to him, surround myself with men who are clearly into me. It gets to the point where it almost feels like I'm the friend and they're the girlfriend because he never has anything bad to say about them, he defends them, he is more considerate of them...I always seem to get the shit, I get hung up on, forgotten, ignored, insulted, etc. Why even bother being good to him, he'll find something else wrong...or he'll just lie to me again and then attack me when I get upset for it.

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Quote: from Just Waiting Here at 5:17 pm on July 18, 2008

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Isn't it possible that he didn't think she was 'hitting on him' back then, and only recently realized that that was her intentions all along?  

 And I mean... by saying he could have had her, it could easily be interpreted, "Why are you worrying... I could have had her, but I never even though about it, and never took her up on it."  It's the matter of whether he is 'hiding' it to protect your feelings, because he's worried you may take it the wrong way (which you may be doing right now), or hiding it because he wants to do something.  

 You know your boyfriend better, which of the two is it?  People sometimes lie because they want to protect others, and sometimes they lie to protect themselves.  Is he lying because he wants to cheat, or is he lying because this is EXACTLY how he DOESN'T want you to feel?  

 All in all, you need to talk to him.  We can't tell you whether he lied, or is lying right now.  If this bothers you, talk to him and just tell him that you just want to be honest with each other, and that you prefer him to tell you the truth about things instead of worrying about hiding them... or something.  

 And since he sees that it bothers you, why would he mention other girls... don't you think you would have been even more paranoid if he said, "just so you know, another girl hit on me today"... I dunno,

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I can't talk to him, I tried but he refused to answer me. And I don't know why he did it, honestly, because I don't feel like I really know him anymore. I used to think he wouldn't lie...now that's all he seems to do, lie, distort, deceive...

I think he did/does it because he's obsessed with girls, I'm not enough. He won't befriend males, he'll only insult them, talk about how horrible they are. He likes the female attention, he always picks out the flirts to cling to and it really hurts because I'd never do that to him, surround myself with men who are clearly into me. It gets to the point where it almost feels like I'm the friend and they're the girlfriend because he never has anything bad to say about them, he defends them, he is more considerate of them...I always seem to get the shit, I get hung up on, forgotten, ignored, insulted, etc. Why even bother being good to him, he'll find something else wrong...or he'll just lie to me again and then attack me when I get upset for it.

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In general, if you don't trust him, then it's NOT going to work.  At this point, I think you are more or less decided.  There is NO point in surrounding youself with other males as a method of 'payback'.  It only causes more pain and more hurt.  Because he may just as easily want to pay you back and take it further.  If you have a problem, you either talk about it, or if you know that this problem isn't going away, then maybe it's time to go your separate ways.

Now, a few other things, just for future reference I suppose.  Part of dating is understanding who you're going with.  Has your boyfriend ALWAYS been this way with females?  His attitude towards females and his liking of being around them might be part of his personality.  Until he gets older and possibly matures out of this, or finds that it's no longer something he enjoys, then that's nothing he will change.  That is how he IS, that's who you're dating... you can't expect someone to change who they are the second you start dating them... you know?  So if he's always been like this, then it's not surprising that it hasn't changed.  Maybe when he realizes that he may lose some people he really cares about, he'll understand that the attention from other women isn't as important as those he cares about.

Now, in terms of him ignoring you, hanging up on you, arguing with you...  That's PART of a relationship, any relationship... between friends, family, other.  In general, someone that you aren't close to isn't someone you'll argue with.  They aren't WORTH the time, they aren't worth letting them know that they are annoyed, and they aren't worth talking to again.  The thing with any relationship is that you argue, but you overcome that and only make yourselves stronger.  I think I would be more hurt if my boyfriend was overly concerned with being very close to someone else to the point that they can get into arguments about some emotional issues, or similar things...

I argue with my boyfriend, only because I know that if I let it go, then it'll come back to cause MORE problems later.  Sometimes he hangs up, sometimes I hang up... but with time, we take the first steps of apologizing and realizing that we aren't going to get anywhere like that.. but sometimes when you spend alot of time with someone, you need a time out to recollect your thoughts and feelings before you talk about it again..  So really... my boyfriend may do those things to me, but ONLY to me.  We know enough to know that these little spats don't actually ruin anything between us... So I don't know if you get my point... but essentially, it MAKES sense for a boyfriend and a girlfriend to act like that sometimes, as opposed to you boyfriend and some random girl that he talks to.

All in all, if you aren't comfortable with his behaviour (and I wouldn't really like it either, especially when he limits who I can talk to and hang out with), then he isn't right for you.  Maybe it's time to move on.

I don't know what to do anymore, he's been really good to me lately but as long as this girl thing isn't straigtened out, we're not okay and I don't trust him. I don't like that he'd risk his relationship with me, something that he claims is so important, to purposely hang out with girls he knows are trouble. Like a few months ago...some little slut added him on Facebook and started flirting with him KNOWING he was taken. She did it because she THOUGHT he was still in the state, still at school, and thusly attainable. I mean, who the fuck cares if he's taken right? She tried to steal him from me and he knew it was going on. Instead of saying, "Wow, bitch...she's not good to keep around...", he just kept talking to her and expected me to not care that she was flirting with him. Mind you, he hates it when guys flirt with me even when they're hundreds of miles away!

Personally, when it comes to making new friends while you're in a relationship, I sort of think you have to judge what's more important to you -- your partner or the new girl/guy. In some cases, I think the other person just isn't worth it because they're trying to wedge themselves in between you and if you cared, you wouldn't even give them a chance but that's just me.

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The crazy thing is, now he's not limiting it. That's the only thing I got out of him today -- "Yeah, you can hang out with whoever you want." But you know what? I know that's BS. He's ALWAYS been the jealous type and I can't honestly see him letting me do that without getting pissy, I really can't. I've fallen for that shit before, I'm not falling for it again by just diving in, I'll start small and wait for the blowup because I know it's coming.

I don't know what to do anymore, he's been really good to me lately but as long as this girl thing isn't straigtened out, we're not okay and I don't trust him. I don't like that he'd risk his relationship with me, something that he claims is so important, to purposely hang out with girls he knows are trouble. Like a few months ago...some little slut added him on Facebook and started flirting with him KNOWING he was taken. She did it because she THOUGHT he was still in the state, still at school, and thusly attainable. I mean, who the fuck cares if he's taken right? She tried to steal him from me and he knew it was going on. Instead of saying, "Wow, bitch...she's not good to keep around...", he just kept talking to her and expected me to not care that she was flirting with him. Mind you, he hates it when guys flirt with me even when they're hundreds of miles away!

Personally, when it comes to making new friends while you're in a relationship, I sort of think you have to judge what's more important to you -- your partner or the new girl/guy. In some cases, I think the other person just isn't worth it because they're trying to wedge themselves in between you and if you cared, you wouldn't even give them a chance but that's just me.

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If the friend is only in it for sexual reasons, then I can understand about realizing that your girlfriend or boyfriend is more important.  However, my boyfriend still takes to a girl that was a past interest, and she's made it obvious that she dislikes me (she's told him that) and she also started masturbating with him on the phone before.  Oh well, I trust my boyfriend, and that girl is more like a sister to him if anything, and isn't interested in her.  I don't mind... because I trust him, and I know it's nothing more than a friendship.

However, if you can't trust him, you've answered the question for yourself.  He's not worth it.  If later he realizes his mistake, then he can do that, and you can decide whether or not you want to pursue a relationship.  But at this point, it's quite clear that this is something that you don't like and he doesn't seem to want to change.