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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Short Stories & Poetry / Viewing Topic

what do u think of this poem?
Replies: 9Last Post Aug. 19, 2008 8:39am by Velico112
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Choice Votes Percent  
i love it 5 17%
it's pretty good 3 10%
it's ok 12 42%
i hate it 8 28%
Vote Now! 28 Votes Cast
( mackenzie13 )


Professional
Reply
i wrote this when i was 12..

it seems so cliche
to write about tears,
but it's what i feel,
what i fear

they pour down my face
just like a river,
they give me goosebumps
make me shiver

even though it's over,
i still wish there could be us
feel all that care
all that trust

i keep hoping it will be you
when i pick up the phone
but the deed is done,
the seed has been sown

all that i wrote in this poem is true,
even this last line:
i love you

-------
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its
pupils. -Louis Hector Berlioz


8:17 pm on Aug. 18, 2008 | Joined: July 2008 | Days Active: 85
Join to learn more about mackenzie13 Texas, United States | GLBT Ally Female | Posts: 1,189 | Points: 2,132
LiveWire Humor
ashleyacid


Omnipotent One

Patron
Reply
I hate it.

-------
This looks like a horror movie waiting to happen.

8:17 pm on Aug. 18, 2008 | Joined: July 2007 | Days Active: 629
Join to learn more about ashleyacid Alabama, United States | Bisexual Female | Posts: 9,595 | Points: 19,937
acausedelle

Swami

Sustainer
Reply
It seems too mundane.

-------
We can live beside the ocean
Leave the fire behind
Swim out past the breaker
Watch the world die

8:17 pm on Aug. 18, 2008 | Joined: June 2006 | Days Active: 594
Join to learn more about acausedelle Wisconsin, United States | Bisexual Male | Posts: 23,053 | Points: 29,684
hooray for rootbeer


Visionary
Reply
i hate it.

-------
Lose yourself in lines dissecting.

8:18 pm on Aug. 18, 2008 | Joined: Dec. 2006 | Days Active: 152
Join to learn more about hooray for rootbeer Michigan, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 6,451 | Points: 8,719
HXC


Enlightened One

Patron
Reply
lame.

-------
it's just you and I, everywhereeeee

8:18 pm on Aug. 18, 2008 | Joined: Sep. 2007 | Days Active: 332
Join to learn more about HXC Czech Republic | Straight Male | Posts: 12,382 | Points: 15,695
jamesish


Hagel und tötet

Patron
Support Leader
Tech Support Leader
Reply
Its decent.

-------
So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me.

I'm not worth any tears.

8:19 pm on Aug. 18, 2008 | Joined: Jan. 2008 | Days Active: 529
Join to learn more about jamesish South Carolina, United States | Bisexual Male | Posts: 23,962 | Points: 38,484
Lihiro


Visionary

Patron
Support Leader
Reply
Lameish.

But don't we all hate poems we wrote when we were 12?

I CRINGE at mine.

-------
Don't stop.


8:19 pm on Aug. 18, 2008 | Joined: Aug. 2008 | Days Active: 215
Join to learn more about Lihiro England, United Kingdom | Straight Male | Posts: 3,766 | Points: 8,352
jamesshadowwolf

Advisor
Reply
he im a guy and for a 12 year old that was pritty good.  dont lisen to the others puttign you down. they probly just people who think ohh its a poem...

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Cheack out My Help Site i Made.
support4teens

8:20 pm on Aug. 18, 2008 | Joined: Aug. 2008 | Days Active: 55
Join to learn more about jamesshadowwolf Ontario, Canada | Straight Male | Posts: 1,128 | Points: 653
dragonking


Vanguard of Socialism

Patron
Reply
It's good for a 12 year old to have wrote.

-------
Dragonking: LW's Own Superhero! RIP MOM 5-30-07 :'(

8:30 pm on Aug. 18, 2008 | Joined: May 2005 | Days Active: 1,309
Join to learn more about dragonking New York, United States | Straight Male | Posts: 21,624 | Points: 40,334
Velico112


Connoisseur
Reply
excellent

8:39 am on Aug. 19, 2008 | Joined: Jan. 2007 | Days Active: 436
Join to learn more about Velico112 Rhode Island, United States | Straight Male | Posts: 2,731 | Points: 6,858
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