The reason for that depression was a fight I had with my best friend in which I got accused in just seeing her as a sex object. That fucked me up and every time I see something related to sex now, it starts some thought pattern that heavily depresses me.

And it's taking extreme forms, like I've even thought of slicing through the connections by testicles have with my body. Or at least hope I hit them... I've actually sat down with a knife aimed there...

The only solution I can think of is fixing my thought pattern, but for that I'd need a girl to make sure that my thought pattern doesn't go there and helps me maintain it for at least 2 or 3 months or so...

But I'm too much of a social outcast and too unattractive for that ever to work. I'm fat, underweight, shy and not easy to start a conversation with...

But I know that it's just a matter of weeks now before this situation is going to kill me.... I wish I was exagerating with that.. but I'm not.

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How can you be fat and underweight? -__-

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Having a big ass stomache and fucking up your diet and your life to be underweight...

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go look at a nerdy kid. they make me feel better.

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real fucking helpfull...

But I am not oging to seek medical help, I'm sorry. They've severely fucked me up once, I'm not giving them another chance.

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They've severely fucked me up once, I'm not giving them another chance.

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Can you tell me more about this ^

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Rob Jr. is my awesome LW Son.

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Quote: from Anonymous at 11:13 pm on Aug. 20, 2008

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They've severely fucked me up once, I'm not giving them another chance.

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Can you tell me more about this ^

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I once went to them about back complaints that I had. The doctor starting poking and feeling and all that crap basically said that there was a musscle twisted and that he would fix it. I spend the next 6 weeks having even worse backpain than before seeing that doctor and once I heard what it was, I hated the doctor so much more. With his poking and shit, he fucking gave me a hernia.

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Quote: from SaintKris at 11:16 pm on Aug. 20, 2008

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Quote: from Anonymous at 11:13 pm on Aug. 20, 2008

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They've severely fucked me up once, I'm not giving them another chance.

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 Can you tell me more about this ^

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I once went to them about back complaints that I had. The doctor starting poking and feeling and all that crap basically said that there was a musscle twisted and that he would fix it. I spend the next 6 weeks having even worse backpain than before seeing that doctor and once I heard what it was, I hated the doctor so much more. With his poking and shit, he fucking gave me a hernia.

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Get a new doctor, plus this is completely different. All they can do is give you antidepresscents.  

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Rob Jr. is my awesome LW Son.

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Get a new doctor, plus this is completely different. All they can do is give you antidepresscents.  

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I really don't trust doctors anymore... and anti-depresscents won't help. Even feremones don't help any more, because my body sees this as normal now.. stuff like anti-depresscents rely on that the body sees it as an unnormal situation.

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Quote: from SaintKris at 11:16 pm on Aug. 20, 2008

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Quote: from Anonymous at 11:13 pm on Aug. 20, 2008

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They've severely fucked me up once, I'm not giving them another chance.

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 Can you tell me more about this ^

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I once went to them about back complaints that I had. The doctor starting poking and feeling and all that crap basically said that there was a musscle twisted and that he would fix it. I spend the next 6 weeks having even worse backpain than before seeing that doctor and once I heard what it was, I hated the doctor so much more. With his poking and shit, he fucking gave me a hernia.

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Get a new doctor, plus this is completely different. All they can do is give you antidepresscents.  

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Rob Jr. is my awesome LW Son.

The only person who can over power those feelings is yourself, people can only encourage you to.

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different-perspective@hotmail.com