I'd appreciate it if piss takes were kept away from here and kept in the Humour & Jokes forum. Thanks.

Let me explain something, my boyfriend means the world to me. He looks after me and understands me and treats me so well. We've been together around 5 months and I adore him.

When I was younger, for the year that I was ten years old I was sexually abused on a weekly basis. My boyfriend knows about this and therefore understood that my recent bumping into my abuser put me off sex and although we've had the odd tiff about it he's been very sweet about it all. I am not a virgin but I haven't yet slept with my boyfriend. I'm 15 and he's 18 and he's told me he has slept with 3 girls; two on a holiday with his friends when he was 16 and one at a music festival last year, which is incidentally where he is now but that's irrelevant.  

Now this trip he went on when he was 16 was organised by a Jewish youth movement and so I know a few people he went with. Our mutual friend and I were discussing this and he said to me "but Andrew's a virgin   " and I said no, he lost his virginity on the tour you went on. Sam, our friend, asked me to tell him what Andrew had told me so I did, that he got very drunk and ended up sleeping with an American and a Londoner that were staying at their hotel and Sam said that on no point of the tour did any of them manage to get hold of alcohol and that they all saw the American girls and Londoners but didn't get the courage to speak to them. Sam also went to the music festival last year and had a tent right next to Andrew and said he saw no girl. This would make him a virgin.

I'm wondering if I should bring it up.

I'm now ready to sleep with my boyfriend, it has been 7 months since I saw my abuser and I have dealt with it. And Andrew has been trying to make me more and more comfortable with it and the other night, it very, very nearly happened, but just as he was about to enter me, he went soft. So I asked him what was wrong and he said "the truth is I'm nervous. I've never done this... sober." I would tell him to get drunk but he won't without me and it's best for me to stay away from alcohol.

How do I make him more comfortable and the sex more special, and I apologise for how long this is.

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I would just say "I heard your a virgin, and I don't know if it's true, but if it is Im okay with it, but I'm just dissappointed that you lied to me," or something...

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Don't get drunk.

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I didn't ask what not to do. That doesn't help me.

On to your problem.  You want to know how to make him more comfortable so he won't go limp.  You're wise to not involve alcohol, but not for the reason you think.  Alcohol decreases sexual performance, so it'd be making the problem worse, not better.

What I suggest is just being careful not to seem like you are pressuring him, just being as supportive as you can.  Talk to him sometime, in the most non-threatening way, and tell him that it is okay, you guys will just try it as many times as it takes for him, and if he doesn't do it right, it's okay, you can show him.  

Maybe you and him should watch a porno together, to get him riled up and ready to go?  You guys could try some positions that you see in the movie.

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Vote for REAL change.

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Well, first of all, I'd hope that no one makes any jokes about problems here, since it is the "Serious Forum", after all. :grin:

On to your problem.  You want to know how to make him more comfortable so he won't go limp.  You're wise to not involve alcohol, but not for the reason you think.  Alcohol decreases sexual performance, so it'd be making the problem worse, not better.

What I suggest is just being careful not to seem like you are pressuring him, just being as supportive as you can.  Talk to him sometime, in the most non-threatening way, and tell him that it is okay, you guys will just try it as many times as it takes for him, and if he doesn't do it right, it's okay, you can show him.  

Maybe you and him should watch a porno together, to get him riled up and ready to go?  You guys could try some positions that you see in the movie.

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Firstly I just messaged you, this topic has already been posted in the Serious Forum and I wanted non support leaders to be able to reply too so I'd appreciate it if you moved it back. Secondly, he gets very turned on and we do other things, but the second it comes to that it's like  

He's been nagging me for months and stuff, I know he wants to, so how do I make it fine to him..