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  LiveWire / College Forums / College Humor & Entertainment / Viewing Topic

the funniest thing ive read all day
Replies: 14Last Post Aug. 23, 2008 6:33pm by muahzxox3
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( hotsaucii princess )


Wealthy Hobo
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Why's of Men

. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)

WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)
 
WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)
 
WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)

WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)
 
WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
 
HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know.....it never happened)
 
And the personal favorite:
 
WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
 
One for the ladies

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma '

And they say blondes are dumb...

A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'

'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.

What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

 How do you keep your husband from reading y our e- mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'



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I feel like im on top of a moutain if anyone
trys to push me off and there will be hell to pay


6:21 pm on Aug. 23, 2008 | Joined: July 2008 | Days Active: 125
Join to learn more about hotsaucii princess Florida, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 4,005 | Points: 5,551
MystiqueBeauty16

Omnipotent One

Patron
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So old.

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Orangehatboy at his finest, BITCH

6:22 pm on Aug. 23, 2008 | Joined: Aug. 2008 | Days Active: 151
Join to learn more about MystiqueBeauty16 South Carolina, United States | Bi-curious Female | Posts: 16,904 | Points: 17,878
IndecisiveBitch


Professional
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Heheheh. Some of those are...cute.

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There is a ripple effect in all that we do,
what you do touches me, what I do touches you.

6:23 pm on Aug. 23, 2008 | Joined: June 2008 | Days Active: 73
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mikey626

Dairy Product Addict
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i feel stupid now.

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You cant choose who you fall in love with.

6:23 pm on Aug. 23, 2008 | Joined: July 2008 | Days Active: 86
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Corrupted Innocence


♥Angel Emma♥

Sustainer
Support Leader
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HAHAHA I lol'd!

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Dreaming Of A Day Where Things Are Different!
Fruitlady is my Wifey
♥The Love Group Is Back♥

6:23 pm on Aug. 23, 2008 | Joined: Mar. 2007 | Days Active: 681
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WeepingWillow

Dairy Product Addict
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lol.. That's a diss to all guys.. But not all guys are like that

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What do I look like? The Wizard of OZ? You need a Brain?
A Heart? Go ahead. Take everything I have.

6:24 pm on Aug. 23, 2008 | Joined: Aug. 2008 | Days Active: 28
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jon davis rocks



Patron
Support Leader
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Aww, I didn't even smile.

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With insomnia, nothing is real.
Everything is far away.
Everything is just a copy of a copy of a copy.

6:24 pm on Aug. 23, 2008 | Joined: April 2005 | Days Active: 532
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Molfsontan


Connoisseur
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Somebody is a bit bitchy today.

Some of them are funny nonetheless, the same can be said for women though.

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Resident KMFDM addict and BRUTE! fanboy.


6:24 pm on Aug. 23, 2008 | Joined: Aug. 2008 | Days Active: 96
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midorigirl


Technician
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heeheehee.

6:24 pm on Aug. 23, 2008 | Joined: Aug. 2008 | Days Active: 16
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BluShift


Executive

Patron
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'

lol.

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In a world where the broken dance
on shards of glass


6:25 pm on Aug. 23, 2008 | Joined: July 2008 | Days Active: 92
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queen87


Advisor
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that is some funny as shit lmao :)

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*~Don+ H@+3 M3 C@us3 U @in'+ M3~*

6:26 pm on Aug. 23, 2008 | Joined: April 2008 | Days Active: 33
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bloodhunter


Wealthy Hobo
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Quote: from IndecisiveBitch at 9:23 pm on Aug. 23, 2008

Heheheh. Some of those are...cute.
Yeah they are

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I'm at the end of my rope and I
don't want to hold on any longer.

6:27 pm on Aug. 23, 2008 | Joined: June 2008 | Days Active: 135
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breannafhchick06


Wealthy Hobo
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lol that was cute...it made me smile :)

6:27 pm on Aug. 23, 2008 | Joined: July 2008 | Days Active: 51
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Potterishdancer


Professional
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haha. thats funny.

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Ti Amo
toastme16 is my LW Valentine!

6:28 pm on Aug. 23, 2008 | Joined: Jan. 2008 | Days Active: 177
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muahzxox3


Professional
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Haha they were cute. I feel bad for the guys though lol.

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Shia Labeoufx33 is my future husband when i become a
famous model =]. Your like an Indian summer in the middle of the winter

6:33 pm on Aug. 23, 2008 | Joined: May 2008 | Days Active: 123
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