What's the worst part of getting a sex change from male to female?
When they remove half the brain. Did you here that they discovered that there are female hormones in beer?
Yeah, apparently they had 100 guys each drink 10 pints of beer. They all started running their mouths and driving lousy.
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. -Dumas
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
A beggar walks up to a well-dressed woman who is shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and said,"God, I wish I had your willpower."
Why were shopping carts invented?
To teach women to walk on their hind legs.
Men have their faults. But women have only two.Everything they say. And everything they do.
Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.
One golfer tells another: "Hey, guess what! I got a set of golf clubs for my wife!" The other replies: "GREAT trade!"
A man and his wife entered the dentist's office. "I want a tooth pulled," the man said. "We are in a big hurry, so let us not fool around with gas or Novocain or any of that stuff." "You are a very brave man," remarked the dentist. "Which tooth is it?" "Show him your bad tooth, honey," said the man to his wife.
Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
Two mothers-in-law.
How do men define a 50/50 relationship?
She cooks/I eat
she cleans/I dirty
she irons/I wrinkle.
What are two reasons why women don't mind their own business?
1.No mind.
2.No business.
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Move your hands and feet. i dont even care if you dance offbeat.
when you dance on me, keep hands off please.
I dont want nobody to think im with you, i mean you seem cool
but your friend seems pretty damn cool too
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Dumas? hehe 
