But these do not matter, after our brief encounter. For my face, and my voice matter not, when you cannot escape the memory of my touch. In future, when people brush against those areas, your mind will be drawn back to our night, and our day. It will be my skin that you feel upon you, all thought of theirs blocked out as you savour that intimate memory. The trace of my tongue will come to you in the night, and your fingers will recall it's path whilst you sleep. These memories will form part of your dreams for years to come, only to escape you during waking, sane hours. My taste and my smell are one, and as you pass me by, ignoring my face and my voice, you will not ignore the scent that rests on your tongue, bringing those flickering dreams towards the daylight. You will grasp out for the contentment of what rests upon your tongue, its scent, its taste. You will crave it above all other things, but you will not retrieve it from any other location than me.

So whilst you may forget my face, my voice, you cannot, will not forget my scent, taste nor skin. This is the only legacy I can leave of our night, and I will not let you ignore it. I have impregnated these upon your mind, and I hope for them to remain.

(edit: It's its)

Post edited at 2:33 pm on Aug. 6, 2008 by Anonymous

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That's not true and I'm going to tell you this again in a second!

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Quote: from Lulamae at 7:50 pm on Aug. 6, 2008

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That's not true and I'm going to tell you this again in a second!

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Not supposed to be, doofus.

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Damn, you should have warned me!

(one thing, it's = it is, its = belonging to 'it')

Post edited at 2:31 pm on Aug. 6, 2008 by Fauna

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- لورين

Love, all alike, no season knows nor clime,
Nor hours, days, months, which are the rags of time.

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it'd be sexy if I wasn't sure it was about raping someone. I like all the little nuances and hints, they're really well places.

(one thing, it's = it is, its = belonging to 'it')

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I like it a lot though, it's saucy. maybe work on the first paragraph to get it to read as naturally as the second? phrases like "as I impart unto you my name. " rather than "I tell you my name" seems overly-formal. And also the idea of the character "pleading" doesn't fit in, at least with my image of the sort of character you're describing.

I love the second paragraph though, yup yup.

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- لورين

Love, all alike, no season knows nor clime,
Nor hours, days, months, which are the rags of time.

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You will grasp out for the contentment of what rests upon your tongue, it's scent, it's taste. You will crave it above all other things, but you will not retrieve it from any other location than me.

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As for the first paragraph, my intention there was to be restrained, frustrated, and unhappy, but then in the second, he comes into his own.

the way he's individually describing the parts of his body; his tongue, his fingers, it's all so methodical and controlled on the speaker's part. very authoritative, slightly alpha-male.

maybe I'm projecting.

the idea of the quiet, ignored man in the corner being a true beast in bed is an interesting one, the unexplored extremes of ordinary people.

to be pedantic, I don't like "rests upon your tongue" being repeated twice in one sentence, I think it might improve from that being changed. that's just personal, maybe you wanted it twice.

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- لورين

Love, all alike, no season knows nor clime,
Nor hours, days, months, which are the rags of time.