Have you consider taking matters into your own hands and perhaps changing what you don't like in your life? I bet you are too young to give up but there's always options if you are willing to work for them. Perhaps join a club, do some sport, meet more people, change your mentality, etc. Little things can make big improvements.
Maybe you need to change some things in order to feel better. What makes you happy? is there something you always wanted to do but didn't do? can you try it?
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You'll never get to heaven if you are scared of getting high.
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