I had a rough year i got raped, mum stopped all contact with me, dad got engaged and lives in america so im stuck in the uk with his best mates son looking after me/ seb (the son) went back to america i got raped and refused to talk and a teacher realised and told me she wanted to keep her eye on me so i moved in with her and her family.

I went to spain with my best mates from school who have an apartmetn there and i bumped into some on the bad gang from last year. They asked if i wanted to meet up with them and i said no but they gave me there number! So i gave in and told the girls id meet them later and went to find the others on the beach. We smoked plenty of pot and a few lines of coke with straight vodka and sambucca shots.

i walked into the club barely able to see coz aparently one of them walked me there and my best mate got worried and called mrs w(the teacher) because she was staying with her family ina complex only a few minutes away and she collected me.

She asked me this morning why i did it and i just couldnt explain but am so embarrased i cant even look at her :(

DON'T GO OUT AND DO STUPID STUFF LIKE THAT AGAIN, YOU IDIOT! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE TREATED SO BADLY, ESPECIALLY BY YOURSELF!

Once a bad experience, always. Don't go back to that group of friends.

And most of all, apologize--and GET HELP!

<3 XOXO

Sabaku no Rebecca

Life is sooooo much better now that I am conscious and aware of what's going on. It all seems like the bomb when you're pounding shots and holding in that hit - but believe me, life is richer without it.

Apologize, stay with the teacher and let her guide you. And when you feel the urge to follow that old crowd - call her, go to her or something! You've got to have a pillar you can cling to when the waves of life threaten to sweep you away...