Daryl went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Daryl said, 'Yup, he's burnt pretty bad, but lemme check somethin'. Roll him over.' So the mortician rolled him over, and Daryl looked and said, 'Nope it ain't Bubba.' The mortician thought that was rather strange.

Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer took a look at him and said, 'Yup, he's burnt real bad. Roll him over'. The mortician rolled him over and Gomer looked down and said, 'No, it ain't Bubba.'

The mortician asked, 'How can you be so sure?' Gomer said, 'Well, Bubba had two assholes.' 'What?? He had two assholes?' said the mortician. 'Yup, everyone in town knew he had 'em. Why, every time WE went to town, folks would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.....'

-------
Bow before the forces of Chaos.
Let the Galaxy burn and the heavens bleed!

So, the artist goes ahead and does the job. But, all the while he is anxious with curiosity over why this man wants a $100 bill on his penis.

So, he tells the man that he really needs to know the reason why and says that the man can keep the $1000 he would have paid for the tattoo if he would just tell the reason for putting a $100 bill on his willie.

So, the man consents and offers these three reasons: 'First, I like to play with my money. Second, I like to watch my money grow. And third, and most importantly, the next time my wife wants to blow $100, she can stay home to do it.'

-------
Bow before the forces of Chaos.
Let the Galaxy burn and the heavens bleed!

The kid said, 'Yeah.'
The cop said, 'Well next year, tell Santa to put a taillight on that bike.' The cop then proceeded to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid took the ticket. Before he rode off he said, 'By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?'

Humoring the kid, the cop said, 'Yeah, he sure did.'

The kid said, 'Well next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top.'

-------
Bow before the forces of Chaos.
Let the Galaxy burn and the heavens bleed!

---

Betsy Sue Jim Bob's cousin Bubba died in a fire and was burnt pretty bad and the morgue needed someone to identify the body. So his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer, were sent for.

Daryl went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Daryl said, 'Yup, he's burnt pretty bad, but lemme check somethin'. Roll him over.' So the mortician rolled him over, and Daryl looked and said, 'Nope it ain't Bubba.' The mortician thought that was rather strange.

Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer took a look at him and said, 'Yup, he's burnt real bad. Roll him over'. The mortician rolled him over and Gomer looked down and said, 'No, it ain't Bubba.'

The mortician asked, 'How can you be so sure?' Gomer said, 'Well, Bubba had two assholes.' 'What?? He had two assholes?' said the mortician. 'Yup, everyone in town knew he had 'em. Why, every time WE went to town, folks would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.....'

---

    i fell outta my chair over this one....

-------
You couldn't make me laugh if i was laughing and you were making me do it! ~Peter-Family Guy
im super. shut up sarah you know its true.

---

awesome once again *subscribes*

---

---

post more! must i beg

---

The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were absolutely thrilled. Everything was great until they got home and found the mailman dead on their porch.

-------
Bow before the forces of Chaos.
Let the Galaxy burn and the heavens bleed!

To his surprise, she answers the door in nothing but a towel. "I'm sorry," she exclaims, "I am running a bit late. Please come in and I'll introduce you to my parents who will entertain you while I finish getting dressed. I should warn you, though, they are both deaf mutes."

With this she ushers him into the living room, introduces him to her parents and promptly disappears. As you can imagine, this is a little uncomfortable as both of the parents are completely silent. Dad is sitting in his arm chair watching golf on TV, and Mom is busy knitting.

After about ten minutes of complete silence, Mom jumps from her chair, pulls up her skirt, pulls down her knickers, and pours a glass of water over her fanny. Just as suddenly, Dad launches himself across the room, bends her over the couch, and takes her from behind. He then sits back down in his chair and balances a match stick in front of his eye. The room is plunged back into eerie silence and the young man is shocked into disbelief.

After a further ten minutes, the daughter returns fully dressed and ready for the evening. The date is a complete disaster with the young man completely distracted by the on goings earlier in the living room.

At the end of the night, the girl asks, "What's the matter? Have I done something wrong?" "No, its not you," he replied, "It's just that the strangest thing happened while I was waiting for you and I am still a bit shocked. Well, first your Mother jumps from her chair, lifts up her skirt, pulls down her panties, and throws a glass of water over her behind. Then, as if that weren't enough, your Father races from his chair, leans her over the couch and does her from behind. He then sits back down and places a match stick by his eye."

"Oh, is that all?" replies the girl.

The man can't believe her casual response.

"That's how they communicate!, Mom was simply saying, "Are you going to get this asshole a drink?" and Dad was replying, "No, fuck him - I'm watching the match."

-------
Bow before the forces of Chaos.
Let the Galaxy burn and the heavens bleed!

The teacher smiles and says, "All right, Johnny, what is your multisyllabic word?"

Little Johnny says, "Mas-tur-bate."

The teacher is taken aback, but she manages to smile and says, "Wow, Johnny, that's a mouthful."

Little Johnny says, "No, ma'am, you're thinking of a blowjob. I'm talking about jerking off."

-------
Bow before the forces of Chaos.
Let the Galaxy burn and the heavens bleed!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, John, what was your toast?" John Said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John," Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's toasting buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize, the other night, with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye and I was a bit surprised myself! You know, he's only been there twice. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.

-------
Bow before the forces of Chaos.
Let the Galaxy burn and the heavens bleed!

---

Quote: from gothic tadbabe at 6:56 pm on July 10, 2005

---

post more! must i beg

---

yes u must  lol  

---

You would never make a girl beg dec!!!  

T
:)

-------

Für immer und ewig werde ich dich, Trudy, lieben und vermissen. Ich fühle mich geehrt, deinen Namen zu tragen.