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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Teen Depression & Emotional Imbalance / Viewing Topic

How can I fix me?
Replies: 8 — Last Post Nov. 20, 2008 5:25am by Anonymous
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Web Resources: Suicide Myths Dispelled, Suicide Information
USA Suicide Hotline: 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
( Anonymous )

Reply

I feel really horrible. I feel fat, ugly, disorganized.
I want to fix things in my life but I don't know how.

I smoke
I drink
I cuss
I cut
Im depressed
I want to die
I purge
I binge
I restrict
Im ugly
Im broke...
Im mentally unstable
Im jealous

I just dont know how to fix any of it.  I hate being this way. How do i fix myself...How do I fix my life. How can I just make things better?

I want so bad to be pretty, to be thin, to be smart, to be loved, to get rid of my bad habits, to just fix my mind and stop thinking the way i do, even more just someone to tell who actually cares.

I want to fix my life so bad. I want to get back to my Christian roots. How can God forgive me. I am forsaken him for so long, done things I know I shouldnt and know he disapproves of. Im on the long road heading for hell and I hate it. Its the only thing holding me back from suicide. Because I fear hell, I don't want to go, but i deserve it. I just hate who I have become over the years. And I hate those people who treated me SO BAD that year that made me completley change who I was. I hate them, hate it, hate me.

Im sorry for this post. Its really not a pity party I just need to get this off my chest. I truly hate myself and I don't know how to stop.

9:20 am on Nov. 19, 2008
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Fentastic


Professional
Patron 		Reply
There's no miracle fix. Start knocking those things off of your list one by one. It's going to be a long, hard road, but you can do it if you're truly committed. Time will tell if you're serious about reform.

-------
Pants.
9:22 am on Nov. 19, 2008 | Joined: Oct. 2008 | Days Active: 102
Join to learn more about Fentastic Colorado, United States | Straight Male | Posts: 2,560 | Points: 2,758
Riot


Wealthy Hobo
Ad Free 		Reply
1. Prozac,
2. Alli,
3. Bandaids.

Pills make everything better~

9:23 am on Nov. 19, 2008 | Joined: May 2008 | Days Active: 96
Join to learn more about Riot Florida, United States | Asexual Female | Posts: 2,591 | Points: 4,545
Suicidebooth


Swami
Sustainer 		Reply
pm me Hun i will talk I'm Good talker a listener

-------
I've got the gun in my
hand, I'm trying to find the trigger. it's two hands and
they say two heads are better than one. cock it back and let
the barrel tip rest on the tongue
9:23 am on Nov. 19, 2008 | Joined: Sep. 2008 | Days Active: 363
Join to learn more about Suicidebooth Montenegro | Straight Male | Posts: 21,168 | Points: 25,182
spartan09


Wealthy Hobo
Patron 		Reply
Get a friend who can hold you accountable, and begin to start crossing things off your list. You really need someone who can tell you when yo ufall, and give you encouragement when you're doing good.

-------
Everybody look at you 'cause you're sailing on a  FAILBOAT.
9:23 am on Nov. 19, 2008 | Joined: Oct. 2008 | Days Active: 61
Join to learn more about spartan09 Missouri, United States | Straight Male | Posts: 1,257 | Points: 4,467
( Anonymous )

Reply
Quote: from Riot at 9:23 am on Nov. 19, 2008
1. Prozac,
2. Alli,
3. Bandaids.

Pills make everything better~

But my mom doesnt know anything about what I do. I mean Im 18 so I can probably go to a psychiatrist on my own right? and she wouldnt tell my mum? cuz I really dont like talking to people. Can I get these pills without a prescription

9:34 am on Nov. 19, 2008
RIMHfire


Omnipotent One 		Reply
I suggest pills and a counselor.
9:35 am on Nov. 19, 2008 | Joined: Aug. 2008 | Days Active: 252
Join to learn more about RIMHfire Massachusetts, United States | Bi-curious Female | Posts: 15,633 | Points: 18,778
lovestruck13


Dairy Product Addict 		Reply
once you're 18 they're not legally obligated to tell your parents anymore because you're considered an adult. so you should take advantage of that, because when i read your post it was like it came straight out of my head (except for the god stuff), but i'm 14 so my parents ARE going to find out. it's only going to get worse. get help before it does; i strongly suggest it.

-------
i'd rather be hated for who i am than loved for
something i'm not. -Kurt Cobain
2:18 pm on Nov. 19, 2008 | Joined: Aug. 2007 | Days Active: 115
Join to learn more about lovestruck13 Missouri, United States | Bisexual Female | Posts: 550 | Points: 1,741
( Anonymous )

Reply
Quote: from lovestruck13 at 2:18 pm on Nov. 19, 2008
once you're 18 they're not legally obligated to tell your parents anymore because you're considered an adult. so you should take advantage of that, because when i read your post it was like it came straight out of my head (except for the god stuff), but i'm 14 so my parents ARE going to find out. it's only going to get worse. get help before it does; i strongly suggest it.

i just dont know if im strong enough to go to someone in person and actually say all of this. i dont think i can do it.

being in denial is just so much easier

5:25 am on Nov. 20, 2008
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