I haven't tried to kill myself; and I never would because I could never do that to my family. But I do think about it way too much. Along with that, I'm extremely critical of myself. So much that I've lost all self confidence and positive imagine. Instead, I avoid people because I I feel inferior to everyone, I'm always stressed, I'm not motivated and never want to get out of bed in the morning and start my day, my college grades have dropped dramatically because I psych myself out that I'm going to fail and then I can't concentrate or focus on anything. My counselor asked if I have any hobbies; and I really don't. I don't find enjoyment in things anymore so I gave up any previous hobbies that I've had. I'm not really going into depth about it; but my life in general is frightening to be living with these thoughts.

I typically am a good student. I'm a hard worker and I've got business sense. When I get out of college I'll be successful at what I do. That is, if I can control my problems. I've tried to ignore them for a long time, but realize I need to fix them otherwise I wouldn't be able to live up to my potential and probably lose many friends because of my anti-social tendencies. Because I do want to get better, I am willing to do the therapy, and even the mental health institute if need be.

But the thing I'm worried about is life after the institute. I've worked as an government employee for the National Park Service for four years and want to after I graduate from college. Will I have trouble getting a job with this on my record; or any other job for that matter? I realize this would all depend on my college; but do you think this would set me back in college? I've heard the average stay at an institute is 30-60 days. I'm a recreation and tourism major. It's basically business management for outdoor facilities such as the park service. Pretty much the outdoors version of the business field. A lot of my classes do with legal aspects and how to not get sued for your programs you develop.

It's not so much the fact that being admitted to a facility like this that bothers me; it's the affects it will have later on me such as finding a job. Do you think this would present an issue?
 

Could you perhaps ask your doctor these questions? He may have some information, and no doubt has gone through this type of thing before.

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So when you're happy (Hurray!), or sad (Aw!),
Or frightened (Eeek!), or mad (Rats!)
An interjection starts a sentence right.

I've stayed at an institution before and my best advice is this:

Don't dwell on what you have been taken out of, your physical situation. While you're there focus on you, but as the time draws near for you to leave ask them on how to readjust. The biggest problem for me was going straight back into the situation I came out of. Make sure you tell them you want to know how to deal with your situation as much as you want to know how to deal with these emotions.

Also, make sure they know you're in school. If they can't/won't contact your college, when you're out, have them give you a note or a letter saying you were there. Then go talk to your advisor about getting medical leave. Do the same with your work. Some institutions will even say you were hospitalized, but they won't say it was for mental health. This is your privacy, so make sure they honor it. And talk with the people there and with your therapist. They're there to help you and make sure that you aren't worrying about this type of stuff while you're fixing you.

If you have any more questions, please message me. My siblings, my father, and myself have all been hospitalized several times and it can seem scary if you don't know what to expect. Best of luck.

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In a city made of steel
The concrete rage is all we feel