Yes, that sounds like what they call EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified). Most eating disorders fall under this category. You seem to be leaning towards Anorexia Nervosa though, the most dangerous mental disorder. You clearly know logically that 1000 calories in a single day isn't binge-eating, so I take it this is based on irrational, obsessive-compulsive fear rather than ignorance about nutrition. OCD sucks, because you can't rationalize with yourself when over rationalizing is the problem. So I'm sure you already know that it's not normal or healthy to be obsessed with food/your weight, nor is it a good life to focus your day around counting calories.
It's one of the hardest things to beat, because your body knows you're starving and is going to want to focus on food so that you'll EAT IT, and that focus makes you all more aware of and obsessed with your weight.
You gotta stop and think to yourself for a minute... what are all the benefits of having an eating disorder and what are the benefits of getting over it?
Compare them. Weigh them side by side and it'll be really obvious that the benefits of recovering far outweigh those of keeping the disorder. You could have a life rather than just a menu. You could enjoy your date rather than the dinner. You could focus on things worth focusing on rather than something you're terrified of. If you need to be obsessed, become obsessed with recovering well. Once your brain is receiving adequate nutrition, you'll be able to think a lot more clearly.
Don't try starting yourself off by binging on food though, that could lead to bulimia or put your body into shock. In my (non-medical) opinion, you should start with upping yourself to a few hundred more calories per day each week until you're up to a normal 1800 calorie diet. It'll probably be nerve racking at first, but in the stage that you are, you should be able to feel a stronger sense of accomplishment in the bravery it takes to eat more food than usual than in the apathy of choosing to deny yourself more food.
Good luck.
Post edited at 4:52 am on Nov. 22, 2008 by cum
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