Quite obviously you're suffering. I think you would agree on that. So you have to do something to make it better (and suicide is really soo pathetic and no solution, so I won't discuss it further). There are people to help other people with their pain, they are called doctors. But - as you said yourself - your pain comes from memories and thoughts, not from bodily harm. So the doctor you should turn to is called "psychologist" - or shrink, as you put it. If your family members want you to go there, that doesn't mean they hate you or think you are totally crazy. They want to help you and that IS the best way to help you.
So if you really want your pain to go away, you should do something about it besides complaining. --> Go make a therapy! (And don't go because everybody else wants you to, but because you want it yourself because you want to feel better!)
If you don't, I can't do anything but think that you don't want to get rid of the pain. Sorry, then nobody can help you.
And as for acceptance... You want people to help you without sending you to a "shrink". But how can you help someone that is complaining on and on, but doesn't really want to do anything about the pain? Right - you can't.
So therapy comes first, then you'll be able to have a socially "normal" life.
And don't think I don't believe you're in pain. That pain must be horribly and I'm really sorry you have to feel it. Sobody should have to. But on the other hand I EXPECT YOU TO DO SOMETHING TO MAKE IT BETTER!
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Exactly. Attention seeking is simply a symptom of underlying pain. I am sorry that you are in such pain, must be really hard. 
