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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Short Stories & Poetry / Viewing Topic

thoughts and critizism on my poem please
thanks!
Replies: 2Last Post Nov. 21, 2008 2:46pm by bordmb
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( bananawhore )


Advisor
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Morning cup of coffee
Warm as it gracefully zooms through one's body.
Cant help but delight
And wipe away the tired
Cold
Unhappiness
But soon the feeling begins to change
With a hot and bitter slash
Cant help but wonder what has become of that recent smile
Just add a pinch of sugar
And just a drop of milk
The taste will soon sweeten your senses
Fickle minded breakast drink
For every sip will change
Don't know what it will do
Send awakening caffeine senses through the body
Our scald the innocent pink tongue.
For life is like a cup of coffee
Unexpected twists
Every step
Every day.
But Perfect
With some help along the way
Just add some sugar
Just stir around a smile
Make life the best that it can be
Treat it like
Your morning coffee


2:43 pm on Nov. 21, 2008 | Joined: Nov. 2008 | Days Active: 55
Join to learn more about bananawhore United States | Posts: 163 | Points: 637
surfergurl


Soothsayer
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Maxwell

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i'm calling a bullshit...

2:43 pm on Nov. 21, 2008 | Joined: Oct. 2007 | Days Active: 339
Join to learn more about surfergurl North Carolina, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 6,474 | Points: 10,148
bordmb


Quality Control Engineer
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goodness u love coffee dont you..
im sure all coffee lovers would be rivited.

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heads I get tail tails I get head

2:46 pm on Nov. 21, 2008 | Joined: Mar. 2008 | Days Active: 38
Join to learn more about bordmb Alabama, United States | Straight Male | Posts: 585 | Points: 982
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