I know how it seems to you right now. That they do this because they don't care about you. But try to understand. It's easy to get caught up in ourselves. What's going on in our lives, how we're feeling, etc. And then we forget about the people around us. And forget that what we do and say definitely impacts their lives.

And your friends and family cannot know how you're feeling unless you tell them. You may seem fine to them so they don't realize that you're hurt and struggling here. Try to express it to them more. Like, "when you say ____________ it really makes me feel _______." Hopefully that will help them understand you and your feelings better.

But I bet they do care. They're just being self centered unfortunately. Enough so that they aren't considering your feelings. But hopefully talking to them will help them be more considerate. If you need to talk to someone, you can always talk to your guidance counselor. Someone will always be there to help you when you're feeling down.

People do care. When it seems they don't, remember that you care about yourself. And that can be just as powerful as anything else.

Hope this helps you understand them better so you can understand that their actions don't mean that they don't care. :) Good luck.

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kid, I wrote back,
all lovers betray.

I do completely understand how difficult it can be when you feel like your friends don't care about you, though. Perhaps that says more about how you're feeling about life in general, rather than about what your friends actually think? It sounds like you're feeling so down about your own life right now that you can maybe only really see negative even in things that might actually be really positive! Do you spend much time with your friends? Perhaps you could try spending more time with them, just to help you feel more involved? And, if you felt comfortable with it, you could always try having a chat with one or two of them. Venting your feelings out and getting feedback from them might help so much. See, they're not going to know how to help you or how to help make you feel more involved unless they actually know there's a problem. Sometimes the people around us are so incredibly special but it can become all too easy to just take it all for granted and not show your appreciation for them. Maybe that's what it's like for your friends. Maybe they value you and your friendship so much that they might not realise that you need reassurance! We all need that, sometimes. Try talking to them?

Your family might be somewhat more tricky. You've not really gone into detail so I don't think I can go into much detail here either. One thing to bear in mind is that, with friends, we can take eachother for granted. Living together and seeing eachother day in day out will always put a strain on a relationship if you just need a little space sometimes! What are they doing exactly? Families are hard work, but if you find right way if dealing with things then it can make your life so much easier. Is this something you feel you could talk to them about? Do you think they know how bad they're making you feel? If you don't think they do then maybe sitting with them and actually talking it out might make all the different. It's worth a shot at least, don't you think? Nothing to lose but everything to gain.

If you try voicing your opinions and get nothing in response then try not to worry, yeah? It'll be more difficult in the long run but it will be manageable. A lot of people have to put up with family they don't get on with and it's so terribly difficult, but they get through it. And so will you. How old are you? You might find that as you get older and even, at some point, get your own place to live that getting on with your family is a lot easier. For some people it's just having to live with them that creates tension. If you're still rather young though then all I can suggest is that you try and make sure you get some space and that you have someone there to help you if things get too difficult. Keep the peace the best you can, remove yourself from the situation if things are about to get heated, and perhaps try finding someone who you can have a wee rant to if things at home are getting too difficult? A friend or something?

Also, just because we don't always get on with our family doesn't mean that they don't love or care for us. It's important that we communicate with the people around us, it really is so essential in every relationship.

Post edited at 3:16 pm on Dec. 1, 2008 by amiee

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i think you're the same as me, we see things they'll never see