just before i stat, sorry it's so long, i needed to get it off my chest and sorry if it sounds aggressive, just to let you know i like in the UK while my dad lives in LA I've written numerous posts on this forum about my situation and all i've got a replies saying things like "family are always there for you, friends come and go" well, you couldn't be more wrong. These friends i'm friends with i have been friends with ever since i met them, thats the majority of my life.
What may sound to you like little family squabbles are not, just trust me. I have a bad relationahip with every single one of my family and i'm pretty sure that in every single situation, i was the one in the right.
My sister is a bully, she pushes me around so much, she orders me to do something and hits me if i don't. If i have something arranged, she''ll say she will do it instead of me, and tbh i would rather give in than be beat up. She humiliates me infront of my friends and she trashes my stuff. Yet when i post on here that i don't want her getting involved with my friends and i, i'm accused of being self centered.
My dad ignores me. I have two half sisters that are two years old, they get to fly in buissness class on airoplanes, i have to sit in economy, call me spoilt but you wouldn't like it if you were me, they've even been in freakin first class. My dad spends his whole time with them or talking about them, he can take a 3 week holiday to australia with them but can only visit us for a weekend. I try to make an effort with me step mother and she throws it all back in my face, i can't think of anything else to do, if i make an effort, she will twist it to look like she is making and effort and not me. If she does something like that and i tell my dad (for instance walking off in an airpot leaving me with 7 suitcases and both of my 2 year old sisters running around every where) she will complain to him about how i'm not pulling my wieght.
My mum blatently prefers my sister, everyne has noticed it, people noticed it before i even noticed it. If i do something wrong i get shouted at, sometimes she will hit me but if my sister does something wrong, nothing. If i hit my sister(which is rare) i get screamed at, if my sister hits me (which is often) i get told off for prevoking her. I even got told off for messing up her computer when i wasn't even there. When she found out i self harmed (bullying, family, other stuff, long story) she accused me of working against her trying to make her look like a bad parent. She even had the nerve to say that my friend (who i had been best friends with for almost 10 years but my sister has recently tried to become friends with) was my sisters friend friest and to stop interfereing.
I don't understand what i'm doing so wrong, all i know is that i can't take it anymore, i don't want to kill myself as i want to live my life, i'm so close to self harming again, it's so tough for me to try and not to, but i know if i do people wont actually care they will just call me attention seeking. the only opton i can see is to run away, i can't live with these people anymore
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life is tough, deal with your shit.
