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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Short Stories & Poetry / Viewing Topic

A story kind of thing
Mental illness
Replies: 4Last Post Nov. 20, 2008 6:00pm by holadios
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( W o n d e r l a n d )



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Im interested to know what you think.
Im still working on it, if its worth it, I just got bored of the teacher babbling on about 'reality' and listening to the other kids opinions... So I guess I started to write about my own reality...


When your up on top, it feels like your flying, weightless, care free and although your not in control, it  doesn't really matter because nothing bad can happen. Its like your floating, every things silent, its peaceful.

It lasts a day... Then the noise starts, sounds like a roller-coaster at an old abandoned theme park going down. Except this roller-coaster has no other people, its no fun and you are completely out of control... No one is in control, no one can prevent you from hitting bottom and no matter what you do, you cant slow it down, Your going to hit the bottom.

See nothing but black, maybe a little light at the top, if your lucky. In some ways, the bottom feels like the top. Its quiet, although not a peaceful quiet, this is more of a deathly silence. That weightless feeling is gone and the weight of the world is on your shoulders. The floating feeling is replaced with numbness, feeling disconnected from the world around you. People are talking, but you cant hear. You are screaming, but no one can hear you. Stuck behind a sound proof glass wall.

Post edited at 5:54 pm on Nov. 20, 2008 by W o n d e r l a n d

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Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy.


5:50 pm on Nov. 20, 2008 | Joined: Jan. 2007 | Days Active: 710
Join to learn more about W o n d e r l a n d Australia | Label Free Female | Posts: 20,445 | Points: 33,208
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mycuteFIEND


Omnipotent One

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Sub-par, tbh
It doesn't really flow. I think with some revisions it could be really neat, though.

5:52 pm on Nov. 20, 2008 | Joined: Jan. 2008 | Days Active: 367
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Aliboo


Soothsayer
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it explains the idea well

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"Tell them to look up, tell them to remember the stars." Renee, TWLOHA.com

5:53 pm on Nov. 20, 2008 | Joined: Oct. 2007 | Days Active: 414
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bratalvarado


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that explains the idea pretty well

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im the vampire not u others, ill bite u

5:54 pm on Nov. 20, 2008 | Joined: Nov. 2008 | Days Active: 27
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holadios


Grasshopper
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thats really good,
im still trying to understand it all the way.

6:00 pm on Nov. 20, 2008 | Joined: Nov. 2008 | Days Active: 3
Join to learn more about holadios Oregon, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 43 | Points: 73
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