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( Anonymous )
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i don't know where it started exactly, maybe in elementary with always being the fat kid. then, i fell in love with modeling, acting, and fashion. i wanted to be pretty like the girls in magazines, to look perfect. that kind of ate away at me, until i started going on the internet for weight loss stuff. i saw pro-ana websites, and fell religiously to it. i lost weight from it, and i loved it. but i got a boyfriend and i felt no need to be afraid, being around him and that made me want to do whatever for him to smile. i wanted to make sure he was happy, even if i rushed to the bathroom to throw it up. then it went into bulimia i suppose. and my old mentality from anorexia butted in, and even if i had one cracker i'd throw up several time. i want to get better, but my friend who also has an eating disorder told me how badly she hated the recovery center. she said they treat you like an illness and not a person. can i get over my fear of food on my own? i don't really want to talk to my parents about it.. especially if my mom would work at the recovery center i'd go to. i don't know what to do anymore, i'm scared.
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 LiveWire Humor
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Troll1000
Swami
 Patron
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get your boyfriend to help you, you have to start eating little bits then building up and DO NOT THROW IT UP
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3:26 pm on Nov. 16, 2008 | Joined: July 2007 | Days Active: 518
Join to learn more about Troll1000 England, United Kingdom | Straight Female | Posts: 11,871 | Points: 28,008
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dramaqueenxoxo
Visionary
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Oh baby, it made me so sad to read this- you are so lost...Just talk to your doctor/ mum... You need help.
PM me if you need to talk (I've been there)
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If nothing we do matters
then all that matters is what we do.
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yellowsapphire
Professional
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Quote: from Anonymous at 3:24 pm on Nov. 16, 2008
 i don't know where it started exactly, maybe in elementary with always being the fat kid. then, i fell in love with modeling, acting, and fashion. i wanted to be pretty like the girls in magazines, to look perfect. that kind of ate away at me, until i started going on the internet for weight loss stuff. i saw pro-ana websites, and fell religiously to it. i lost weight from it, and i loved it. but i got a boyfriend and i felt no need to be afraid, being around him and that made me want to do whatever for him to smile. i wanted to make sure he was happy, even if i rushed to the bathroom to throw it up. then it went into bulimia i suppose. and my old mentality from anorexia butted in, and even if i had one cracker i'd throw up several time. i want to get better, but my friend who also has an eating disorder told me how badly she hated the recovery center. she said they treat you like an illness and not a person. can i get over my fear of food on my own? i don't really want to talk to my parents about it.. especially if my mom would work at the recovery center i'd go to. i don't know what to do anymore, i'm scared.
Go and talk to someone. It'll help. It'll be very very very hard to deal with this on your own and I really think you should talk to your mom, or a doctor. It'll help you, I promise 
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The Wolfhound
Visionary
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You HAVE to talk to your boyfriend and NEVER do the stupidest thing with throwing up. If you have a bf, he's prollly happy with your body, and either way, you CAN'T try to spare time by doing unhealthy things - you'll end up in the hospital. Maybe try dieting SLIGHTLY, but Noooooooever try to throw stuff up or starve yourself to death...
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Topic closed.
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smmayy
Connoisseur
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personally, you should try a recovery center.
i have a friend that was in one for bulimia and she used to call me all the time, and talk about how bad it was, how they didn't treat her like a person, and how much it sucked. i just kept telling her once it was over, it would be SO worth it. and she listened. shes been out for 2 years now, and she is so soo happy.
we talked about it recently, and she said she thinks it was her way of attempting to resist. but she says it wasn't really all that bad, and it was most definitely worth it. so i definitely think you should. good luck (: just pm me if you have any more questions.
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3:36 pm on Nov. 16, 2008 | Joined: Dec. 2006 | Days Active: 424
Join to learn more about smmayy New York, United States | Female | Posts: 2,185 | Points: 6,642
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