i can't. do. this.

oh fuck. no. this cannot be happening. she's 14 he's 18 if anybody told he could go to PRISON.

Post edited at 5:14 pm on Dec. 16, 2008 by noraa

she could die from that. i mean it's possible.

just tell her to tell her parents but don't tell them why simple as that. there are always more than one ways to contract illnesses

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I HAVE. THE AGGRO

I know that there's a lot going on at the moment with the situation, but you've got to make her understand that she's got to get this taken care of, immediately. Her mother, father, friends, family, and boyfriend will still be there afterwards and maybe this will scare them bad enough to realize they need to lighten up some.

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Make Love, Not War

 Does she has any close relatives who are willing to help?

 SHE IS NOT GOING TO KILL HERSELF. What about her boyfriend? What does her boyfriend say? As for confessing to her mom, I don't know if this works or if this is just plain mean, but if she tells her mom about this, then begs her not to sue her boyfriend or else she would not go for treatment...

Post edited at 5:20 pm on Dec. 16, 2008 by cherryD

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Crunchy leaves.

Hopefully by now she's been to a doctor, but for the most part, if it is a diagnosis not done by a professional, then suddenly jumping to conclusions isn't right.  If she has NOT seen a doctor yet, I don't believe a gynecologist would be the first place to go.  Bladder infections CAN happen without sexual intercourse, and that's a possibility to.  Again, I'm just confused how your friend has a diagnosis and her mother doesn't even know about it... because I would assume by law, her mother would have to be informed because she is a minor.

This being said, a doctor is the first place to go.  If she wants to mention sexual activity, she can... however, she may be able to get by without it.  I don't know how serious your friend is... but some bladder infections just go away on their own (though they could be more serious).

All in all, she has to tell an adult.  This is the risk she took, and sadly, sometimes things happen and we have to face up to it.  I know how scary it must be for her, my boyfriend was over that age at one point, and we had our own worry at some point.  It's definitely scary, especially with this large an age gap.

As for her parents... the one thing you can say to her is that she is never to blame for her parents arguments.  My parents have more or less hated each other all their life, and I've always been worried about making it worse.  If I did something wrong, it was because of the ~other~ parent.  We ALL make mistakes, we're all our own people... and if her parents have troubles with one another, then that's something between her parents.  Of course, she's an important factor, but she needs to step up and be the one to say something about it.

Hopefully it will all work out.  An adult is necessary, there's no way to go around seeing a doctor without an adult.  Her health at this point is more important than anything... in terms of her boyfriend, someone would have to press the charge.  The doctors won't know the age of the person she was with, and as long as her parents don't want to press charges, then things should be fine.

Again, hopefully things will work out, but most importantly, trying to keep as clear a head as possible (yes, I realize that's difficult) is most important.  Hopefully by now she has talked to someone, and gotten a proper diagnosis and treatment).